Monday, September 1, 2014

The Lems

 Monster #: 983,954

What Are They: Very cute little creatures that live near the sea.

What Do They Want:To play in the ocean as long as they can.

Can They: Oh no, not a night.

What Happens At Night: That's when the Lem Eaters come out.

What's A Lem Eater: That's a monster for another time.

Friday, August 22, 2014

Crocodile Tears

I'm on vacation for the next week, so there won't be any monsters. However, I will be offering some of my favorite comic strips I've created for Grey Unicorn.

I hope you enjoy them!

Read it here:

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

It's In The Title

I'm on vacation for the next week, so there won't be any monsters. However, I will be offering some of my favorite comic strips I've created for Grey Unicorn.

I hope you enjoy them!

Read it here:

Monday, August 18, 2014

In His Sister's Shadow

I'm on vacation for the next week, so there won't be any monsters. However, I will be offering some of my favorite comic strips I've created for Grey Unicorn.

I hope you enjoy them!

Read it here:

Friday, August 15, 2014


Monster #: 2,980

What Is It: A very, very, very old monster.

What Does It Want: For you whippersnappers to keep it down!

Why Is He Nearly Naked: He just doesn't give a shit anymore.

I Wanna Be Like Him: Me too.

Wednesday, August 13, 2014


Monster #: 85,983

What Is It: An insanely cool monster.

What Does It Want: To be as insanely cool as possible.

How Do I Know He's Cool: He's wearing sunglasses.

And: He threw up the Devil Horns! Twice.

Okay, That Is Insanely Cool: I know, right?

Monday, August 11, 2014


Monster #: 34,042

What Is It: An odd, cheerful little guy.

What Does He Want: To enjoy standing in the green rain.

Looks Kinda Fun: It does.

What Makes The Rain Green: Acid.

Oh: Yeah, not so fun for us.

Friday, August 8, 2014


Monster #: 35,456

What Is It: A really, really, big monster.

How Big: So big this is all we can fit into a photo of him.

What Does He Want: Friends.

Does He Have Any: No. He always crushes them.

Sad: Yes.

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

The Flying Man

Monster #: 6,584

What Is It: A man who can fly.

What Does He Want: To... fly. Duh.

Wait, How Can A Man Be A Monster: Can you fly?

No: Can Mothra fly?

Yes: So he's a monster.

I'm Confused: It's because you're dumb.

Monday, August 4, 2014

The Three-Headed Krellm

Monster #: 986,848

What Is It: A Krellm With Three Heads

What Does It Want: To only be a One-Headed Krellm.

Why: You ever have trouble making decisions.

Yeah: Now try making decisions with two other yous.

Oh: Yep.

Friday, August 1, 2014


Monster #: 7,394

What Is It: A very sophisticated creature.

What Does It Want: To live a life of elegance.

Is That A Painting Or a Window: It's both.

Wait, How Does THAT Work: That's best described for another time. Sorry!

Wednesday, July 30, 2014


Monster #: 346,534,567

What Is It: Just a really, really big monster.

What Does It Want: To wreck cities 'n shit.

Why: Because it can, man.

Your Writing's Getting Really Informal: Yeah? Whaddya gonna do about it?

...Nothing: That's what I thought, ya' dummy.

Monday, July 28, 2014


Monster #: 589,238

What Is It: We're not really sure.

What Does It Want: We're not really sure.

Is It Good Or Bad: We're not really sure.

Why Are You So Bad At Your Job: We're not really suHEY!!!

Friday, July 25, 2014

The Grundler

Monster #: 124,554

What Is It: A monster who delights in others' failures.

What Does It Want: To see everyone embarrass themselves.

Why: Because it has poor self-esteem.

That's Not Right: No it's not.

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

The Hidden Face

Monster #: 6,540

What Is It: The hidden face we all hide from the world.

What Does It Want: To reveal itself.

Is It... Bad: Sometimes.

Can I Stop It: Not all the time.

Monday, July 21, 2014


Monster #: 8,305,934

What Is It: Just a cheerful, good-natured monster.

What Does It Want: He has no wants.

Why: Because he's happy just being who is.

God I Hate Him: Me too!

Friday, July 18, 2014

The Ahkturrian Worm

Monster #: 630,492

What Is It: A worm from the planet Ahkturria.

What Does It Want: To eat just about everything it sees.

How Big Is It: About as big as your house.

I Live In A Mansion: Yeah, he's a big son of a gun.

Well, At Least I Don't Leave on Ahkturria: Ahkturria is what they rename Earth in 20 years.

DAMNIT: Agreed. Ahkturria is a bad name.

Wednesday, July 16, 2014


Monster #: 982,034

What Is It: A very creepy female spirit.

What Does She Want: No idea. I don't like the look she's giving you though.

She's Not Looking At Me, She's Looking At You!: Sorry buddy, she only has eyes for you.

OH NO!!!: Hey, maybe she won't be evil.

Really: Nah.

Monday, July 14, 2014

Slippery Sam

Monster #: 45,230

What Is It: A very large sea snake.

What Does It Want: To live it's life peacefully in the ocean.

How Slippery Is He: Very slippery.

How Slippery is "Very Slippery": Extremely slippery.

Friday, July 11, 2014

The Bledge

Monster #: 6,720

What Is It: Just a big, big monster.

What Does It Want: To eat sailors, ships, battleships, all that good stuff.

Why: Because they taste very good to him.

I Don't Think They Taste Very Good: Well, you're not a giant monster now are you?

... No: That's what I thought.

Wednesday, July 9, 2014


Monster #: 93,320

What Is It: A woman with a dark secret.

What's Her Secret: We don't know. It's very dark though.

Does The Secret Involve That Weird Thing Standing Behind: Probably, yeah.

Is It Looking At Me: Probably, yeah.

Monday, July 7, 2014


Monster #: 654,096

What Is It: An icky little creature that lives at the bottom of the beach.

What Does It Want: To bite on your legs.

Wait, Some Weird Bite Marks Appeared On My Leg When I Was At Cancun This Year: Really?

Does That Mean... : I think it does.

Oh God: Yeah, it's pretty freaky.

Am I Going To Die: I dunno, maybe.

MAYBE!!?: I don't know! I just write the entries!

Friday, July 4, 2014

The Love Thing

Monster #: 5,240

What Is It: A creature that loves love.

What Does It Want: To help people fall in love.

Why: Because it's the only one of it's kind.

How Tragic: See, this is how it all comes together.

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

The Unknown Alien

Monster #: 2,494

What Is It: An unknown alien.

What Does It Want: That's unknown at this time.

Well, What DO We Know About This Alien: Nothing. Except that it's an alien.

God, You're Useless: Yeah, well, you're useless too, buddy!

Monday, June 30, 2014


Monster #: 23,033

What Is It: Some weird, slug-like thing?

What Does It Want: To... exist?

It's Ambitions Aren't Too High: Hey man, existing is pretty cool.

That's True: It is.

Friday, June 27, 2014

Sad Robert

Monster #: 924,045

What Is It: A very sad monster.

What Does It Want: To find some form of happiness in the Big City.

What Makes Robert Happy: He doesn't know.

Well, That's A Problem: Yeah, no kidding!

Wednesday, June 25, 2014


Monster #: 100,034

What Is It: A lady demon who can see you.

What Does She Want: She wants to talk to you.

Why: Because you are a very interesting person.

Wait, No I'm NOT: Fine, she wants to suck out your soul. Happy now?

Yes, I Appreciate the Honesty: Good. I'm glad.

Monday, June 23, 2014

3 Years of Monsters

I feel like I'm becoming a broken record but it remains true: I'm sorry for the long break! Things got extraordinarily busy (hell, they still are) and there just hasn't been the time for more monsters. And that's terrible. There should always be time for more monsters.

But don't worry! I'm still here and I'm ready to post some more. And before a new deluge of monsters, I thought it'd be time for another anniversary post, this being my third year and all at doing this.

Looking at the artwork over the years has been fairly strange; some of the art I produced still looks pretty good and others really show their age. There are some monsters I remember being pretty proud of that I now find slightly embarrassing. You're always improving as an artist and it's good to acknowledge that for a moment. Even if you don't think you're getting better, you are.

Another thing I've noticed is how abstract some of the monsters have gotten. There's some truly strange and surreal looking ones made during this last year. A lot of pictures don't even really have backgrounds beyond some weird splash of the texture brush. I can't say there was ever a conscious decision in that regard ("Many, Many Monsters," has never been about conscious decisions), but it's somewhat intriguing. What will this new year of monsters look like? I don't know yet but I'd sure like to find out.

Until then, thanks for being a reader and I only hope I've brought to you some manner of enjoyment. All I really want to do ultimately is make people happy and I'd love it if this blog is a way of doing that.

Thanks again,

Here are some favorites from the last year, in no particular order:

Friday, February 28, 2014


Monster #: 893,246

What Is It: Some cute little thing.

What Does It Want: Who cares?

Why Are You So Angry: He bores me.

How Do You Pronounce His Name: Who f**king knows?

Wednesday, February 26, 2014


Monster #: 924,443

What Is It: A really disgusting, weird thing.

What Does It Want: Who knows. He's creepy as hell though.

Yeah: It freaks me out just looking at him.

I Want To Look Away: Me too. BUT I CAN'T!!!

Monday, February 24, 2014


Monster #: 2,405

What Is It: I dunno. A monster.

What Do You Mean You Don't Know: Damnit, we don't know everything about every damn monster!

Why Not: Cuz we're busy!

I Don't Like Your Answers: Well I don't like you!

Friday, February 21, 2014


Monster #: 9,154

What Is It: A very, very goofy monster.

Hey, Wait a Minute: What?

How Come All the Monsters This Week Are Green: I don't know.

You've Been Paid Off By the Green Party, Haven't No: What, no, we haven't... We swear!

My God, You're Jill Stein, Aren't You: No! I, uh! Fine, you found me out!

But Why, Jill Stein: Power. You control one blog, you control them all. 

No...: First, this blog, then the world...

Wednesday, February 19, 2014


Monster #: 89,265

What Is It: A very hardworking monster.

What Does It Want: To get that report done by 5:00 tonight.

Why: Because it's very important!

I Think This Guy Works in My Dad's Office: He does.

Monday, February 17, 2014

The Yodeling Olf

Monster #: 234,246

What Is It: A big, green monster that yodels.

What Does It Want: To yodel, of course, ya big silly.

Why: He's Swiss. That's what Swiss folk do.

This Doesn't Seem Quite Right: Shut up.

Friday, February 14, 2014


Monster #: 98,235

What Is It: A very athletic, angry monster.

Why Is It Angry: He didn't like the way you looked at him.

But I Didn't Look At Him: He thinks you did.

Oh No! Is He Going to Attack Me: Yes.

NOOO!!! I Gotta Run: He's faster than you. Sorry, pal.

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

The Showman

Monster #: 1,056

What Is It: A showman monster.

What Does It Want: He wants to put on The Greatest Show On Earth.

What Is The Greatest Show On Earth: Its destruction.

Not Much of a Show: Well, not for us.

Monday, February 10, 2014

The Krarn

Monster #: 56,320

What Is It: Such a cute little monster!

What Does It Want: To be fierce and scary!

Is It: Of course not! He's Adorable!

It's Hard Being Cute: Yes indeed!

Friday, February 7, 2014

The Dragon's Head

Monster #: 87,205

What Is It: A... dragon's head.

What Does It Want: To find it's body.

How Is It Still Alive: Dragon's can survive decapitation.

What, Really: Yes, really.

How... Annoying: You're telling me, pal!

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

The Flump

Monster #: 87,993

What Is It: A happy-go-lucky monster.

What Does It Want: To say "hi" to everyone he meets.

Why: 'Cuz he believes in being a good, kind person.

He's Not Gonna Last Long: Ha ha no.

Monday, February 3, 2014

The Ulg

Monster #: 6,349

What Is It: An inter-dimensional being.

What Does It Want: To just be left alone.

Why: He doesn't like company.

Why: Secretly he's very insecure.

Friday, January 31, 2014

The Foretold

Monster #: 88,325

What Is It: A man who can see far, far into the future.

What Does He Want: To be left alone.

Why: No one should know their own future.

Fine, I Won't Ask: He'll let you know for $50.

Wait, What?: Hey, gotta make a livin' somehow.

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

The Gemdge

Monster #: 32,429

What Is It: A very lonely monster.

What Does It Want: A friend.

Why Can't It Have Friends: He's very shy.

This Is Very Sad: Yes, I agree.

Monday, January 27, 2014


Monster #: 103,496

What Is It: A very energetic monster.

What Does It Want: To run around and goof off all day long.

Why: Cuz doin' important stuff is lame.

Damn, You Speak the Truth: You know I do.