Jllaacks

Monster #: 6,503

What Is It: Just a nasty, mean ol' monster.

What Does It Want: To rip everything else into shreds.

What About Shreds, Does It Rip Shreds Into Shreds: Shut up.

Wow, Rude: Don't do this shit, man.

The Giant Octopus

Monster #: 98,349

What Is It: As the name would imply, it is a giant octopus.

What Does It Want: To eat people.

Hey, Wait A Minute, Octopi Don't Have Teeth: Well, this one does, what are you gonna do about, huh?

Well, Obviously, Then This Thing Can't Exist: Oh yeah. You see that photo, you think we Photoshopped this thing?

...Yes? I Mean, It's Not A Photo And It Obviously Used Photoshop Brushes: ...

You Still There: You get out of here right NOW!

The Dimensional Bird

Monster #: 39,850

What Is It: A weird bird that can travel between dimensions.

What Does It Want: We know as much as you do, which is to say, we don't know.

How Can I Avoid It: Well, it only comes out whenever you don't want it.

What If I WANT It To Come Out Then: Then it comes out as well. Sorry bud.

The Ahkturrian Worm

Monster #: 630,492

What Is It: A worm from the planet Ahkturria.

What Does It Want: To eat just about everything it sees.

How Big Is It: About as big as your house.

I Live In A Mansion: Yeah, he's a big son of a gun.

Well, At Least I Don't Leave on Ahkturria: Ahkturria is what they rename Earth in 20 years.

DAMNIT: Agreed. Ahkturria is a bad name.

The Bledge

Monster #: 6,720

What Is It: Just a big, big monster.

What Does It Want: To eat sailors, ships, battleships, all that good stuff.

Why: Because they taste very good to him.

I Don't Think They Taste Very Good: Well, you're not a giant monster now are you?

... No: That's what I thought.

Viaunda

Monster #: 100,034

What Is It: A lady demon who can see you.

What Does She Want: She wants to talk to you.

Why: Because you are a very interesting person.

Wait, No I'm NOT: Fine, she wants to suck out your soul. Happy now?

Yes, I Appreciate the Honesty: Good. I'm glad.

Villusic

Monster #: 8,346

What Is It: Some sort of bio-mechanical monstrosity.

What Does It Want: To constantly proclaim his brilliance.

Is He Brilliant: Ha ha, no.

Really: Yeah, he's an idiot who thinks he's a genius.

So He's Incredibly Dangerous: Oh yes.

Cromdom

Monster #: 3,030

What Is It: A very wise, very smug monster.

What Does It Want: To be right about everything.

How Is It Right About Everything: It's third eye can see all.

I Don't Like the Sound of That: No, you don't like the SIGHT of that.

The Trellump

Monster #: 56,712

What Is It: Some sort of wandering creature.

What Does It Want: Beats us. It seems to like to travel in packs.

He's Kinda Got a Smug Expression: Yeah, he does.

I Don't Care For That: Me either.

Roktenn

Monster #: 78,367

What Is It: A very clever, conniving monster.

What Does It Want: It looks like it wants to trick that poor kid.

What's He Smiling About: Man, you don't want to know.

I Don't Like This Guy At All: Join the club!

Mip

Monster #: 1,302

What Is It: A big-headed, cheerful little guy.

What Does It Want: Who knows.

What Do You Mean: This thing's expression is the blankest of the blank. There's nothing there.

That's Too Bad: Yeah, but it's happy, so it all works out.

Skrumpf

Monster #: 545

What Is It: Some real ugly lookin' thing.

What Does It Want: I don't know. To not be so ugly?

Where Is It: Some sorta alternate-dimension maybe?

How Can I Avoid It: Who knows!

Cool Dude

Monster #: 552

What Is It: One cool monster.

What Does It Want: To be cool.

He Doesn't Look That Cool To Me: You kidding? He's wearing sunglasses!

Sunglasses Don't Automatically Make People Cool: Yes they do, it's a scientific fact. You're just not cool enough to understand it.

Yeah... You're Right: Of course I am.

Elura

Monster #: 453

What Is She: A woman with ties to the other side.

Is the "Other Side" the Side I'm Thinking Of: Yes, that's the one.

How Was She Connected to the Other Side: She asked. That's all you need to do.

What Does She Want: That's for her to know and you to find out.

The Green Lizard

Monster #: 678

What Is It: A four-foot green lizard.

What Does It Want: To try and survive this crazy world.

Where Is It: Unknown at this time. Looks kinda trendy though.

What's It Looking At: I don't know. Maybe that's where it came from...

The Shapelings

Monster #: 63

What Are They: Weird little critters based on shapes.

Huh?: Yeah, we don't get it either.

Are They Nice: They seem harmless enough.

Will the Purple One Shake the Green One's Hand: We hope so. They should be friends.