Friday, July 25, 2014

The Grundler

Monster #: 124,554

What Is It: A monster who delights in others' failures.

What Does It Want: To see everyone embarrass themselves.

Why: Because it has poor self-esteem.

That's Not Right: No it's not.

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

The Hidden Face

Monster #: 6,540

What Is It: The hidden face we all hide from the world.

What Does It Want: To reveal itself.

Is It... Bad: Sometimes.

Can I Stop It: Not all the time.

Monday, July 21, 2014


Monster #: 8,305,934

What Is It: Just a cheerful, good-natured monster.

What Does It Want: He has no wants.

Why: Because he's happy just being who is.

God I Hate Him: Me too!

Friday, July 18, 2014

The Ahkturrian Worm

Monster #: 630,492

What Is It: A worm from the planet Ahkturria.

What Does It Want: To eat just about everything it sees.

How Big Is It: About as big as your house.

I Live In A Mansion: Yeah, he's a big son of a gun.

Well, At Least I Don't Leave on Ahkturria: Ahkturria is what they rename Earth in 20 years.

DAMNIT: Agreed. Ahkturria is a bad name.

Wednesday, July 16, 2014


Monster #: 982,034

What Is It: A very creepy female spirit.

What Does She Want: No idea. I don't like the look she's giving you though.

She's Not Looking At Me, She's Looking At You!: Sorry buddy, she only has eyes for you.

OH NO!!!: Hey, maybe she won't be evil.

Really: Nah.

Monday, July 14, 2014

Slippery Sam

Monster #: 45,230

What Is It: A very large sea snake.

What Does It Want: To live it's life peacefully in the ocean.

How Slippery Is He: Very slippery.

How Slippery is "Very Slippery": Extremely slippery.

Friday, July 11, 2014

The Bledge

Monster #: 6,720

What Is It: Just a big, big monster.

What Does It Want: To eat sailors, ships, battleships, all that good stuff.

Why: Because they taste very good to him.

I Don't Think They Taste Very Good: Well, you're not a giant monster now are you?

... No: That's what I thought.