Friday, April 10, 2015


Monster #: 18,478

What Is It: A monster that exists just beyond the veil of our comprehension.

What Does It Want: We don't know. Hopefully it wants to leave us alone.

Is It Looking At Me: Hey, it's looking at ME too.

Hold Me, I'm Scared: I will.

Monday, April 6, 2015

Eeya the Fair

Monster #: 21,390

What Is It: She is a fairy, like the kind that doesn't exist much anymore.

What Does She Want: To survive.

What's Wrong: There are lots of big, nasty things out there that like to eat fairies.

That's Sad: Even magical creatures have problems.

Friday, April 3, 2015

The Giant Octopus

Monster #: 98,349

What Is It: As the name would imply, it is a giant octopus.

What Does It Want: To eat people.

Hey, Wait A Minute, Octopi Don't Have Teeth: Well, this one does, what are you gonna do about, huh?

Well, Obviously, Then This Thing Can't Exist: Oh yeah. You see that photo, you think we Photoshopped this thing?

...Yes? I Mean, It's Not A Photo And It Obviously Used Photoshop Brushes: ...

You Still There: You get out of here right NOW!

Monday, March 30, 2015

The Witch of Distant Valley

Monster #: 245,035

What Is It: A cruel witch who lives just beyond our world.

What Does She Want: To be left alone so she can terrorize the inhabitants of the Distant Valley.

Why: Well, it's either terrorize or be nice and terrorizing is probably more fun.

Her Morals Are Pretty Shaky Then: Super shaky.

Friday, March 27, 2015


Monster #: 2493

What Is It: A mysterious monster with a very large mouth.

What Does It Want: We don't know. He seems friendly... ish?

Its Smile Seems Insincere: Yeah, there's something about it that seems fake.

I Don't Think I'd Like To Meet It: Well too bad, cuz it's right outside your door!

AAAAHHHNo It's Not: Gotcha!

Monday, March 23, 2015


Monster #: 9,585

What Is It: Avvvia is the ruler of a distant society.

What Does She Want: To extend her the reach of her power.

Why: Well hell, why not?

Is She a Good and Just Ruler: Hahahahaha of course not.

One of Theses Days There'll Be a Nice Dictator: Yeah, sure.

Friday, March 20, 2015

The Dimensional Bird

Monster #: 39,850

What Is It: A weird bird that can travel between dimensions.

What Does It Want: We know as much as you do, which is to say, we don't know.

How Can I Avoid It: Well, it only comes out whenever you don't want it.

What If I WANT It To Come Out Then: Then it comes out as well. Sorry bud.