Friday, April 15, 2016
Monday, April 11, 2016
Monster #: 309,580
What Is It: A really hairy monster. Like, really, really hair.
How Hairy: Hairier than yo momma.
Hey Many, Leave My Mother Out of This, It's Going to Hurt Her Feelings: Oh gee, I'm sorry, I didn't realize.
Words Can Be Hurtful: You're right, I'm so sorry.
Friday, March 25, 2016
Monster #: 1,013
What Is It: Uh, some kind of... thing?
What Does It Want: Man, who knows? Something’s going on with his face, I don’t like it.
Does He Workout: You see those abs, I bet he does.
Maybe He Can Become a Fitness Guru: I think maybe you’re a little too optimistic there, bud.
Monday, March 21, 2016
Monster #: 405,988
What Is It: A very excitable lizard-type monster.
What Does It Want: To run around, have fun, that kind of thing.
Is He Friendly: Yes, very.
Will He Be My Friend: NO!
Why: He’s MY friend!
Monday, March 14, 2016
Monster #: 543,983
What Is It: I don't know, some sort of smug jackass.
What Does It Want: To make you feel bad about stuff, I think.
Oh No, I Like Stuff: I know, me too.
Can We Be Friends: (sniff)... I never thought you'd ask!
Monster #: 23,065
What Is It: A big, friendly monster.
What Does It Want: To give you a hug.
Uh, How Strong Is He: Unbelievably strong.
Could A Hug From Him Kill Me: Yes.
Can I Say No To a Hug: Yes, but you'd make him feel sad.
Uh...: Come on dude, take one for the team.
Friday, March 11, 2016
Monster #: 39,493
What Is It: A mysterious and ethereal monster.
What Does It Want: We don't know. Whatever she wants with that bug, it can't be good.
Maybe She'll Give It A Bath: Maybe she'll eat it.
You Always Go Dark: What can I say, I'm twisted person. Let me put on my Nickelback album just to show you how twisted I am.