The Lizarians

Monster #: 75

What Are They: A species of lizard monsters that are born either happy or sad and stay that way for the rest of their lives.

Wow, That Sounds Terrible: No wait, let me explain!

How Does That Work: The happy Lizarians keep the sad Lizarians from being too sad, and the sad Lizarians keep the happy Lizarians from being too happy.

What A Weird, Weird Relationship: Yeah, kinda.

The Gutsler

Monster #: 462

What Is It: A pretty damned-foul creature with a lotta inside-parts.

What Is It Doing: We have no idea. Maybe trying to impress a mate?

Who Would Be Impressed By That: Hey, people can be into weird stuff.

I Don't Feel So Good: Yeah, well, we can't blame you. Sorry.

Charlie Monster

Monster #: 833

What Is It: A large, friendly monster that lives in bedrooms.

What Does It Want: All he wants is to be your friend!

Has He Made Any Friends: No. But that doesn't mean he should stop trying.

How Does He Fit Through The Door: That's a good question that can't be answered right now. Sorry!

Monsters' Day Off

Hey folks, just a heads up: there will be no monster posted this Friday. Our monster friends deserve a break I think.

So this Friday, instead of checking out this blog, go see "The Muppets" instead.

Come on man, puppets rule.

Happy Thanksgiving,
Ryan

Demon Dog

Monster #: 251

What Is It: An excitable little pooch that's also a demon.

Likes: Playing fetch, chasing it's tail, chewing on souls

Dislikes: The vacuum cleaner, cats, humanity

What To Do If You See It: Whatever you do, don't scratch under it's chin. That's just a bad, bad idea.

Sylvia the Snake

Monster #: 73

What Is She: A friendly little snake that wouldn't hurt anyone.

Really?: Well, unless you're a mouse.

What Does She Want: To live her life the best way she can.

Don't We All?: Indeed we do.

Shadow Being

Monster #: 452

What Is It: A creature that exists only as a shadow.

What Does It Want: To scare people.

Why: What else is it gonna do?

Maybe It Could Not Be So Mean: Oh, come on.

The Zit

Monster #: 3

What Is It: A truly evil little creature that feeds on the skin of teenagers.

What Does It Want: To cause pain and suffering to millions of people across the world.

How Can It Be Stopped: It can't. It just keeps coming back.

I Don't Think It's An Actual Monster: I guess you didn't go to high school then!

The Shifter

Monster #: 714

What Is It?: An amorphous creature made out of reflected light.

Reflected Light?: Yes. The shifter uses reflected light to camouflage itself.

What Does It Want?: To stay hidden from the eyes of mankind.

What Happens If We See It: Well...let's just say it knows how to defend itself.

Jump and Slump

Monsters #: 310 and 311

What Are They: Two monsters with polar opposite personalities.

What Do They Want: Jump wants to play with Slump and Slump wants Jump to leave him alone.

How Often Does That Happen: Every moment of every day.

So They're Not Much of a Threat?: Nah.

The NightBeast

Monster #: 502

What is It: A mean, nasty creature that comes out at night.

What Does It Want: Not much. Just to hunt people.

Who's the Guy: A detective that's gotten in over his head.

Will He Survive: He's a tough old bird. He's got a shot.

Li'l Gargoyles

Monster #: 881

What Are They: Cute little gargoyles that hang out on the tops of buildings.

Aren't Gargoyles Man-made statues: Oh, don't be silly.

What Do They Want: Hideout until they become adult gargoyles.

What Happens When They Become Adult Gargoyles: That's a different monster profile.

Unknown #3

What Is It: A mysterious creature that appears in cities on dark nights.

What Does It Want: Not known at this time.

Is It Related to the Fog Somehow: Maybe.

I'm Scared: Yeah, well...