Wednesday, February 29, 2012

The Doubts

Monster #: 5

What Are They: Little monsters that live in your head.

What Do They Want: They want you to lose confidence in all of your decisions.

Why: They feed on the tears of unfulfilled dreams.

How Can I Stop Them: You can't. You can only try to control them. Maybe one day they'll give up.

Monday, February 27, 2012


Monster #: 901

What Is It: A friendly monster that hangs out in bars.

What Does It Want: Just to say "Hey" and ask how it's going.

That's It: Yep, that's it.

Well, Gee, Now I Feel Bad For Brushing Him Off: You should.

Friday, February 24, 2012


Monster #: 533

What Is It: A sentient iPod that just wants to be your friend.

Wow, Really: You bet! He's already got all your favorite songs loaded.

OMG: I know right!

Is There a Catch: Yup! It feeds on human blood!

Wednesday, February 22, 2012


Monster #: 40

What Is It: A 50ft giant monster that likes to ravage cities.

Is It Godzilla: No, it's similar to but not Godzilla, especially for copyright purposes.

What Does It Want: I think it wants a hug but the other guys here make fun of me for saying that. I have feelings you know.

No, I Didn't Know That: Well, you'd know if you took time to listen.

Monday, February 20, 2012


Monster #973

What Is It: A none-too-bright gangster monster.

Gangster Monster?: Yeah, he's part of the monster mafia.

There's a Monster Mafia?: Of course there's a monster mafia. Why wouldn't there be?

He Looks Like Somebody That's Gonna Get Whacked Soon: Oh yeah.

Friday, February 17, 2012

Joe the Monster Bartender

Monster #: 61

What Is He: As the name applies, he's a monster bartender, named Joe.

What Does He Do: Runs a bar, serves beer, listens to your problems.

Wow, That Sounds Nice: Yeah, he's very helpful.

Huh, I Had No Idea: See, not all monsters are bad. Just most of the them.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012


Monster #: 665

What Is It: A ruthless agent that may or may not be a demon.

Where Does It Live: Where else? Hollywood baby!

What Does It Want: To help any aspiring actor or actress's career.

Is There a Catch: Oh you bet...

Monday, February 13, 2012


Monster #: 313

What Is It: Some sort of mechanical monster that's very angry.

Why's It Angry: Beats us. Bad day perhaps?

So Is It A Robot: Nope, a bio-mechanical being.

Wait, What: Well, a bio-mechanical being is one that - shoot, ran out of space. Sorry!

Friday, February 10, 2012

The Shapelings #2

Monster #: 64

What Are They: Weird little critters based on shapes.

What's Going On: The triangle ones appear to be running away from the circle one.

Yeah, Sure I'll Buy That: Maybe it's like that level from "Super Mario Bros. 3."

The One With the Angry Sun: Yeah, and the circle is gonna try to hurt the triangles, but they gotta escape first! Man, that'd be pretty exciting.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Experiment #5

Monster #: 607

What Is It: An experiment gone wrong.

What Does It Want: Beats me, I don't know everything!

What's So Wrong About It: It sets everything it touches on fire.

Even Stuff That Isn't Flammable: Especially stuff that isn't flammable

Monday, February 6, 2012

Nita Krull

Monster #: 568

What Is She: The cruel empress of a forgotten empire below our surface.

How Cruel: Super cruel.

Did She Do Sacrifices or Something: You've seen "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom" right?

Yeah: It's like that but a lot less pleasant.