Wednesday, July 30, 2014


Monster #: 346,534,567

What Is It: Just a really, really big monster.

What Does It Want: To wreck cities 'n shit.

Why: Because it can, man.

Your Writing's Getting Really Informal: Yeah? Whaddya gonna do about it?

...Nothing: That's what I thought, ya' dummy.

Monday, July 28, 2014


Monster #: 589,238

What Is It: We're not really sure.

What Does It Want: We're not really sure.

Is It Good Or Bad: We're not really sure.

Why Are You So Bad At Your Job: We're not really suHEY!!!

Friday, July 25, 2014

The Grundler

Monster #: 124,554

What Is It: A monster who delights in others' failures.

What Does It Want: To see everyone embarrass themselves.

Why: Because it has poor self-esteem.

That's Not Right: No it's not.

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

The Hidden Face

Monster #: 6,540

What Is It: The hidden face we all hide from the world.

What Does It Want: To reveal itself.

Is It... Bad: Sometimes.

Can I Stop It: Not all the time.

Monday, July 21, 2014


Monster #: 8,305,934

What Is It: Just a cheerful, good-natured monster.

What Does It Want: He has no wants.

Why: Because he's happy just being who is.

God I Hate Him: Me too!

Friday, July 18, 2014

The Ahkturrian Worm

Monster #: 630,492

What Is It: A worm from the planet Ahkturria.

What Does It Want: To eat just about everything it sees.

How Big Is It: About as big as your house.

I Live In A Mansion: Yeah, he's a big son of a gun.

Well, At Least I Don't Leave on Ahkturria: Ahkturria is what they rename Earth in 20 years.

DAMNIT: Agreed. Ahkturria is a bad name.

Wednesday, July 16, 2014


Monster #: 982,034

What Is It: A very creepy female spirit.

What Does She Want: No idea. I don't like the look she's giving you though.

She's Not Looking At Me, She's Looking At You!: Sorry buddy, she only has eyes for you.

OH NO!!!: Hey, maybe she won't be evil.

Really: Nah.

Monday, July 14, 2014

Slippery Sam

Monster #: 45,230

What Is It: A very large sea snake.

What Does It Want: To live it's life peacefully in the ocean.

How Slippery Is He: Very slippery.

How Slippery is "Very Slippery": Extremely slippery.

Friday, July 11, 2014

The Bledge

Monster #: 6,720

What Is It: Just a big, big monster.

What Does It Want: To eat sailors, ships, battleships, all that good stuff.

Why: Because they taste very good to him.

I Don't Think They Taste Very Good: Well, you're not a giant monster now are you?

... No: That's what I thought.

Wednesday, July 9, 2014


Monster #: 93,320

What Is It: A woman with a dark secret.

What's Her Secret: We don't know. It's very dark though.

Does The Secret Involve That Weird Thing Standing Behind: Probably, yeah.

Is It Looking At Me: Probably, yeah.

Monday, July 7, 2014


Monster #: 654,096

What Is It: An icky little creature that lives at the bottom of the beach.

What Does It Want: To bite on your legs.

Wait, Some Weird Bite Marks Appeared On My Leg When I Was At Cancun This Year: Really?

Does That Mean... : I think it does.

Oh God: Yeah, it's pretty freaky.

Am I Going To Die: I dunno, maybe.

MAYBE!!?: I don't know! I just write the entries!

Friday, July 4, 2014

The Love Thing

Monster #: 5,240

What Is It: A creature that loves love.

What Does It Want: To help people fall in love.

Why: Because it's the only one of it's kind.

How Tragic: See, this is how it all comes together.

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

The Unknown Alien

Monster #: 2,494

What Is It: An unknown alien.

What Does It Want: That's unknown at this time.

Well, What DO We Know About This Alien: Nothing. Except that it's an alien.

God, You're Useless: Yeah, well, you're useless too, buddy!