Monday, December 24, 2012

The Gift of Terror!

Just a reminder folks, a real human being wrapped this present (me!).

Terrifying indeed.

Coming Up

Hey folks, there will be no monsters this week (monsters celebrate the holidays too) but I’ve got something even more horrifying coming your way.

I’m pretty awful at wrapping presents so for three days next week you’ll get to see some truly badly wrapped gifts. Stuff so bad you’ll think a monster wrapped it!

Have a happy holiday,

Friday, December 21, 2012


Monster #: 4,566

What Is It: An insane monster.

What Does It Want: To just be itself.

And Itself Is...: Insane.

Oh, Right: Yep.

I Don't Like This Guy: Don't worry, he doesn't like you either.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012


Monster #: 3,445

What Is It: A nasty, winged creature that only comes out at night.

What Does It Want: To scare anyone that gets in its way.

Why: He likes it.

This Guy Needs to Get A New Hobby: Tell us about it!

Monday, December 17, 2012


Monster #: 9, 456

What is It: A very large, very hungry snake.

What Does It Want: To hide. For now.

What Happens When It's Now: That's when it eats.

What Does It Eat: Whatever it wants.

Friday, December 14, 2012

Ghosts #374

Monster #: 1,212

What Are They: Another in an endless series of classifications of ghosts.

What Are They Doing: They appear to be engaged in some sort of mating dance.

How Can A Ghost Wear a Bow: I don't know, maybe the bow's dead.

How Can a Bow be Dead: How come you can't shut up?

Wednesday, December 12, 2012


Monster #: 5,454

What Is It: Unknown at this time. This profile shot is the only photo we have of it.

What Does It Want: Unknown at this time.

It Photographs Well: Yeah, we think this is his good side.

What Does His Bad Side Look Like: Don't get cute.

Sunday, December 9, 2012


Monster #: 3,454

What Is It: A chalk monster that lives in school chalkboards.

What Does It Want: To not be erased every night.

Likes: Chalk, chalkboards.

Dislikes: Erasers, getting erased.

(Seriously though, this dude's not deep.)

Friday, December 7, 2012

Eyvind Eel

Monster #: 1,752

What Is It: A very big eel that likes to eat very little fish.

Why: Because it's big enough that no one argues with it.

What Does It Want: To eat, eat and eat.

Why Is It Smiling: Eyvind also likes the taste of people...

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

The All-Seeing Eye

Monster #: 1,232

What Is It: As the name would imply, it is an All-Seeing Eye.

What Can It See: Seriously? Everything. It's All-Seeing.

What Everything: Yes! Everything!

Even When I'm In the Bathroom: What!!? God, you're gross. Yes.

Monday, December 3, 2012


Monster #: 1,302

What Is It: A big-headed, cheerful little guy.

What Does It Want: Who knows.

What Do You Mean: This thing's expression is the blankest of the blank. There's nothing there.

That's Too Bad: Yeah, but it's happy, so it all works out.