Monday, October 31, 2011
Monster #: 701
What Is It: An unlucky-in-love monster that just wants to go out on a date.
Why: Even monsters want to feel love.
Aw, That's Kinda Sweet: Yeah, it kinda is.
I Still Wouldn't Date Him Though: Completely understandable.
Friday, October 28, 2011
Monster #: 312
What Is It: A ghost that travels throughout the internet.
What Does It Do: Pop out of devices linked to the internet just so it can scare the pants off you.
Wait, Isn't Everything Linked to the Internet These Days?: Yeah, pretty much.
Well...Shoot: It's not great news, that's for sure.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Monster #: 857
What Are They: Disturbingly cheerful monsters that haunt your dreams.
My Dreams: Yes, your dreams. They're like Freddy Krueger, only scarier.
How Can I Avoid Them: Make sure you live a life of altruism and selflessness.
So, I Can't Avoid Them, Can I: Nope. Doesn't hurt to try though!
Monday, October 24, 2011
Monster #: 32
What Is It: A gigantic fish with gigantic teeth that roams the sea.
What Does It Want: To eat.
What Does It Want To Eat: Oh, it's not picky.
I Don't Like The Sound of That: Yeah, well, I can't blame ya.
Friday, October 21, 2011
Monster #: 523
What Is It: A nasty little imp that likes annoying people.
Likes: Causing mischief, inflicting pain.
Dislikes: People who don't play with him, time outs.
Last Seen: Having fun at the Mall of America.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Monster #: 613
What Are They: Weird, amoeba-like creatures.
Where Do They Live: Just below the surface of our own perceptions.
Are They Dangerous: They seem to be more interested in each other than us.
What If Happens If They Become Interested in Us: Why you always gotta be asking questions like that?
Monday, October 17, 2011
Monster #: 116
What is He: A tongue with a mind of its own.
What Does He Want: He just wants to entertain!
Where Did He Get That Tiny Top Hat: From a tiny hat store.
Wait, There's a Tiny Hat Store in This Guy's Mouth: No, that would be silly. In his throat.
Friday, October 14, 2011
Monster #: 57
What is He: A Mystic that lives at the top of the Mountains.
Is He Actually a Mystic: His disciples certainly hope he is.
Who's the Other Guy: A follower looking for enlightenment.
Will Oyon Help Him Out: Probably not.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Monsters: 900 and 901
What Are They: Weird, weird little critters.
What Do They Do: They sorta bounce while they walk in no particular direction.
Are They Dangerous: When they stop smiling.
What Happens When They Stop Smiling: You don't want to know.
Monday, October 10, 2011
Monster #: 635
What is She: A strange spirit from another realm.
What Does She Do: Dances an odd dance at the witching hour on All Hallows Eve.
Who Are Her Friends: Poltergeists who want to join in on the fun.
What To Do If You See Her: Too late. You're part of the fun now.
Friday, October 7, 2011
Monster # 883
What Are They: Creepy, weird creatures of unknown origin.
What Do They Want: We don't know. We don't want to know.
Are They Related to Those "Gray" Aliens: Maybe. Go ask Whitley Streiber.
Why Don't You Ask Him: Look, I'm busy, OK?
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
What Is It: A nasty little crustacean that digs into your ear with its weird tentacle/claws.
Why Would It Do That: Because it's a jerk? Not much is known beyond that...
What Happens After It Attacks My Ear: You're going to have one hell of a headache.
How Can I Stop It: Ear plugs. We think.
Monday, October 3, 2011
Who Are They: A mad scientist and his evil creation
What is the Creation: We don't know. Something big.
He's Rather Nasty Looking: The scientist or the creature?
Last Seen: At the Doktor's castle, somewhere in Eastern Europe.