Friday, February 27, 2015
Monster #: 94,465
What Is It: A powerful, dangerous monster.
What Does It Want: To execute whatever its master wishes.
Is Its Master A Good Person: Haha no.
Ah, Shit: Yep, that's the response the Krivener evokes.
Monday, February 23, 2015
Monster #: 94,393
What Is It: A professional doctor monster.
What Does It Want: To give you the best medical advice he can possibly give.
Why Isn't He Wearing a Lab Coat: He wants you to check out his sweet abs.
He Doesn't Give, Like, Physicals, Right: He'll give you a prostate exam you'll never forget.
Friday, February 20, 2015
Monster #: 93,466
What Is It: An all-powerful alien king from a distant planet.
What Does It: He wants to seduce some human females.
So He's A Ladies Man: Oh my no, he's super awkward and gross.
Ha Ha: It is funny. Super important on his planet and can't even score a date here.
Monday, February 16, 2015
Monster #: 9,592
What Is It: An ancient artifact of untold power.
What Does It Do: It gives you untold power. We don't know much more than that.
Where Is It: Well, that monster is giving it to that monster.
So, We're Doomed Already Then: You bet.
Friday, February 13, 2015
Monster #: 98,589
What Is It: A tiny creature that lives in your joints.
What Does It Want: To play around and make you feel miserable.
Like Her: Oh yes, that's a skulllch having a lot of fun.
Can You Ever Get Rid of Them: No.
Monday, February 9, 2015
Monster #: 4,584
What Is It: A creature from beyond our dimension.
What Does It Want: To watch us.
Why: We cannot possibly fathom why.
Is It Cuz He's A Jerk: Possibly.
Friday, February 6, 2015
Monster #: 9,598
What Is It: A King of the Sea.
What Does It Want: To rule its corner of the ocean the best way it knows how.
Where's Its Crown: Underwater his crown would just float away.
See, I Didn't Think Of That: You should always think before you say something.
Monday, February 2, 2015
Monster #: 5,094
What Is It: A demon straight from the depths of Hell.
What Does It Want: To cause torment and stuff like that.
Wait, So Hell Is Real: Did I say Hell, I meant Heck.
What's the Difference: One you can say on children's television.