Monday, September 30, 2013
Friday, September 27, 2013
Monster #: 983,200
What Is It: Unknown at this time.
What Does It Want: Unknown at this time.
Well, What DO You Know: He appears to have a message that he wants us to hear.
What Is His Message: We don't speak his language. Whoops!
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
Monster #: 90,529
What Is It: Pac-Man's lesser known brother.
What Does He Want: To be just as good as Pac-Man!
Can He Be As Good as Pac-Man: No, of course not.
Why Not: He's actually super racist.
Oh My: Yeah, it's really terrible.
Monday, September 23, 2013
Monster #: 3,682
What Is It: Some sort of smiling monster.
What Does It Want: Hell if I know. We don't know everything about these things damnit!
Jeez, Sorry: Yeah, well, I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have snapped.
This One Little Monster Has Caused Us To Get Mad At Each Other: It truly is the most evil monster there is.
Friday, September 20, 2013
Monster #: 978,001 and 978,002
What Are They: Two weird little things.
What Do They Want: We don't know.
They Both Look Pretty Nervous: Yeah, they don't look too happy.
I Better If You Weren't So Lazy You Could Find Out: Yeah I bet-HEY!
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
Monster #: 2,956
What Is It: A friendly monster that lives on your head.
What Does It Want: It wants to help you!
What Kind of Help: Homework, relationship troubles, car problems, all that stuff.
Wow, Really: Oh yes.
Man, I Need to Get a Slemmy: They've very rare so keep an eye out!
Monday, September 16, 2013
Monster #: 898,396
What Is It: The littlest Billings.
So...: So, everybody makes fun of him for being so little.
That's Not Fair: Of course it's not fair!
Can He Do Anything About It: No. His life is doomed to eternal mockery.
This is Powerfully Depressing: Hey, maybe one day a Billings will be born littler than him!
Friday, September 13, 2013
Monster #: 983,402
What Is It: He is the gentleman of the universe.
What Does That MEAN: He travels from planet to planet, gentleman-ing it up.
What Does THAT Mean: He acts as sort of an ambassador to the planet's dignataries.
And What Does THAT Mean: He decides whether a planet lives or dies. There, you happy?
No: WELL NEITHER AM I!!!
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
Monster #: 56,712
What Is It: Some sort of wandering creature.
What Does It Want: Beats us. It seems to like to travel in packs.
He's Kinda Got a Smug Expression: Yeah, he does.
I Don't Care For That: Me either.
Monday, September 9, 2013
Monster #: 12
What Is It: Uh, the Loch Ness Monster.
THE Loch Ness Monster: Yes indeedy, Nessie herself.
Wow, That's So Cool: It sure is!
So, Is There Any New Information On Her: Yes, she's actually Irish.
Oh Wow: Yeah.
Friday, September 6, 2013
Monster #: 6,799
What Is It: A poor man blessed with terrible powers.
Like What: He can see infinite potentiality.
That Doesn't Sound So Bad: He has no choice in the matter.
Oh: Yeah, he sees everything at every moment all the time.
Yikes: He's one of the sadder cases in our files.
Wednesday, September 4, 2013
Monster #: 6,003
What Is It: The ghost of the fearsome western gangster, Henry Stanton.
What Does It Want: To haunt the men who gunned him down.
Wait, Who Gunned Him Down: The sheriff and his law enforcement.
How's That Fair: What do you mean?
Why Should An Evil Crook Get the Chance to Haunt the Good People Who Stopped Him: Uh.... life's not fair?
That's Not a Very Good Answer: Look, we're trying!
Monday, September 2, 2013
Monster #: 78,367
What Is It: A very clever, conniving monster.
What Does It Want: It looks like it wants to trick that poor kid.
What's He Smiling About: Man, you don't want to know.
I Don't Like This Guy At All: Join the club!