Friday, March 30, 2012
Monster #: 902
What Is It: A strange being that hangs outside your window.
What Does It Want: To look at you.
That's Creepy: Yep.
What the Hell's Going On In That House: Modern art. That's a discussion for a different blog.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
What Is It: A strange creature that lives on a different plane of reality.
Is It Dangerous: Not as long as it stays on its plane of reality.
What It Happens If It Leaves: You don't want that to happen.
Why Don't I Want That: You really want to ask that question?
Monday, March 26, 2012
Monster #: 223
What Is It: A big-ass monster that lives in the ocean.
What Does He Want: To eat? You know, stuff like that.
Who's The Other Guy: That's his sidekick.
What's The Sidekick's Name: I dunno. That's for another case file I guess.
Friday, March 23, 2012
Monster #: 612
What Is It: A very shy monster that likes to hide himself.
Why Does He Like To Hide: The world's a scary place.
Is It Possible To Find Him: No, he's very clever.
But I Can See Him In the Above Photo: Oh, uh, you're right, I guess...
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
What Is It: Not Known At This Time
What Does It Want: Not Known At This Time
Where Does This Photo Take Place: No idea. We just received this photo one day in the mail.
Well That's Pretty Creepy: Yeah, there were a couple of other odd photos too...
Monday, March 19, 2012
Monster #: 23
What Is It: A completely unhinged monster.
What Does It Want: Everything at all times.
Huh: Lortnoc's brain has no attention span is ruled only by lusts and desires.
Oh, So He's Like a Rock Star: Exactly like a rock star.
Friday, March 16, 2012
Monster #: 57
What Is It: A strange tall creature that preys on the small and meek.
What Does It Want: Unknown at this time.
How Can I Avoid It: Don't fall asleep.
Where Can I Find Out More Information on this Monster: Consult the "Phantasm" documentary series.
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Monster #: 625
What Is It: A monster that was such a jackass that he got kicked off his home planet.
What, Really: Absolutely, no foolin'.
What Did He Do: Man, he was incredibly passive-aggressive. He also constantly borrowed money and never paid you back.
Oh My God He Sounds Horrible: He was. He also kept talking about how great "Sucker Punch" was. It's not that great, Krej!
Monday, March 12, 2012
Monster #: 89
What Is It: When you make a deal with the devil, this guy is the one who comes to collect.
What Does He Want: He wants you to pay up.
What Happens If You Can't Pay Up: Oh, you'll pay up.
I Don't Want to Meet This Guy: We all have to meet him sometime.
Friday, March 9, 2012
Monster #: 972
What Is It: A high-ranking chief from a monster royal society.
Why's He So Nervous: He's not very good at his job.
Why: He doesn't like to make decisions.
Boy Did He Pick a Poor Line of Work: Eh, whatcha gonna do?
Monday, March 5, 2012
Monster #: 59
What Is It: A businessman monster.
What Does It Want: He just wants to make a deal.
What Kind of Deal: One that benefits him but not you.
How Can I Avoid Him: You can't, there's one in every corporate office.
Friday, March 2, 2012
Monster #: 823
What Is It: A very rich and very sophisticated monster.
What Does He Want: Stiffupperlip wants people to appreciate just how rich and sophisticated he is.
Wow, He Sounds Insufferable: Yes, he is.
How Can I Avoid Him: Try not to talk about money. He loves giving financial advice.