Gregor

Monster #: 2,375

What Is It: A friendly alien.

What Does It Want: To say "hi" I guess.

Are All Aliens As Nice As Him: No.

Fuck: I feel the same.

Woolson

Monster #: 309,580

What Is It: A really hairy monster. Like, really, really hair.

How Hairy: Hairier than yo momma.

Hey Many, Leave My Mother Out of This, It's Going to Hurt Her Feelings: Oh gee, I'm sorry, I didn't realize.

Words Can Be Hurtful: You're right, I'm so sorry.

Glllaaablrlrll

Monster #: 1,013

What Is It: Uh, some kind of... thing?

What Does It Want: Man, who knows? Something’s going on with his face, I don’t like it.

Does He Workout: You see those abs, I bet he does.

Maybe He Can Become a Fitness Guru: I think maybe you’re a little too optimistic there, bud.

Gecksford

Monster #: 405,988

What Is It: A very excitable lizard-type monster.

What Does It Want: To run around, have fun, that kind of thing.

Is He Friendly: Yes, very.

Will He Be My Friend: NO!

Why: He’s MY friend!

Gnarkk

Monster #: 543,983

What Is It: I don't know, some sort of smug jackass.

What Does It Want: To make you feel bad about stuff, I think.

Oh No, I Like Stuff: I know, me too.

Can We Be Friends: (sniff)... I never thought you'd ask!

Gummpmmf

Monster #: 23,065

What Is It: A big, friendly monster.

What Does It Want: To give you a hug.

Uh, How Strong Is He: Unbelievably strong.

Could A Hug From Him Kill Me: Yes.

Can I Say No To a Hug: Yes, but you'd make him feel sad.

Uh...: Come on dude, take one for the team.

Gyffandaa

Monster #: 39,493

What Is It: A mysterious and ethereal monster.

What Does It Want: We don't know. Whatever she wants with that bug, it can't be good.

Maybe She'll Give It A Bath: Maybe she'll eat it.

You Always Go Dark: What can I say, I'm twisted person. Let me put on my Nickelback album just to show you how twisted I am.

Reevak!

Monster #: 10,634

What Is It: A badass and edgy monster.

What Does He Want: He wants to NOT play by your rules, man.

He Doesn't Like My Rules: No way man, he thinks your rules are totally uncool.

(Sniff)... I Try My Best: Your best ain't good enough, old man!

Daya Zik

Monster #: 20,563

What Is It: A badass alien outlaw.

What Does It Want: She wants to commit crimes and get away with it!

Oh Wow, That's Messed Up: I know!

Does She Realize It's Wrong to Commit Crimes: She does, but she does it anyway!

Oh My God: I know!

Guff

Monster #: 2,343

What Is It: A big, muscly monster.

What Does It Want: To work out and lift weights and stuff.

What About His Legs: Oh, he doesn't do any leg exercises. So they're not looking so good.

How Come Nobody Ever Focus On the Legs: 'Cause they all have huge egos.

Debya

Monster #: 2,004

What Is It: A cool, down to Earth monster.

What Does It Want: She wants to hang out, get good grades and attend a nice public university.

Do They Let Monsters Into Colleges: Not in America.

Where: Denmark, I think. They're pretty chill over there.

Jllaacks

Monster #: 6,503

What Is It: Just a nasty, mean ol' monster.

What Does It Want: To rip everything else into shreds.

What About Shreds, Does It Rip Shreds Into Shreds: Shut up.

Wow, Rude: Don't do this shit, man.

Geece

Monster #: 82,589

What Is It: A childlike spirit.

What Does It Want: To cause mischief and mayhem.

Why: Because she thinks it's funny.

That's Rude: In fairness, it's funny if it doesn't happen to you.

Arg

Monster #: 100,098

What Is It: A monster that's stuck in a perpetual state of annoyance.

What Does It Want: He wants to finally find contentment.

Will He Ever: No.

He's Like Me Then: He's like all of us.

Yisa

Monster #: 653,098

What Is It: Just your average single gal/monster.

What Does She Want: You ever see "Mary Tyler Moore?" Pretty much that.

She Wants to Make It After All: You bet.

She's An Inspiring Monster, Isn't She: You know it.

The Viv

Monster #: 3,923

What Is It: A weird, slightly demonic creature.

What Does It Want: She has a mean expression, so I'm guessing whatever it is, it isn't good for us.

What's The Third Eye For: Looking into your soul.

Mine Specifically, Or Everyone's: Everyone's. Sorry about the wording there, it got a little confusing.

Grammar Is Important: Yes, it is.

Oswak

Monster #: 23,945

What Is It: Just kind of a normal dude.

What Does He Want: Normal dude things.

What Are "Normal Dude Things:" You know... things that are normal... for dudes.

You Don't Know Anything About This Guy, Do You: ...(sniff) This job is hard, man.

Treecee

Monster #: 3.289

What Is It: A cute little creature with grass for hair.

What Does It Want: To spread joy and cheer and all that stuff.

Wait, Really Grass For Hair: Yes indeed.

Does She Use A Lawnmower to Cut Her Hair: Yes, yes you understand the bit.

The Gozakk

Monster #: 5,983

What Is It: A gigantic inter-dimensional abomination.

What Does It Want: To rip through the very Space-Time Continuum.

Why: Everybody needs a hobby.

I Like Collecting Baseball Cards: That's not useful information, buddy.

Ogilvie and Staker

Monster #: 29,843

What Are They: A duo of monsters.

What Do They Want: Ogilvie (the orange one) wants to to be friends with Staker (the yellow one).

What Does Staker Want: Uh... something different than what Ogilvie wants, that's for sure.

Theses Guys Aren't the New Bert and Ernie, Are They: Oh no.