Friday, March 25, 2016


Monster #: 1,013

What Is It: Uh, some kind of... thing?

What Does It Want: Man, who knows? Something’s going on with his face, I don’t like it.

Does He Workout: You see those abs, I bet he does.

Maybe He Can Become a Fitness Guru: I think maybe you’re a little too optimistic there, bud.

Monday, March 21, 2016


Monster #: 405,988

What Is It: A very excitable lizard-type monster.

What Does It Want: To run around, have fun, that kind of thing.

Is He Friendly: Yes, very.

Will He Be My Friend: NO!

Why: He’s MY friend!

Monday, March 14, 2016


Monster #: 543,983

What Is It: I don't know, some sort of smug jackass.

What Does It Want: To make you feel bad about stuff, I think.

Oh No, I Like Stuff: I know, me too.

Can We Be Friends: (sniff)... I never thought you'd ask!


Monster #: 23,065

What Is It: A big, friendly monster.

What Does It Want: To give you a hug.

Uh, How Strong Is He: Unbelievably strong.

Could A Hug From Him Kill Me: Yes.

Can I Say No To a Hug: Yes, but you'd make him feel sad.

Uh...: Come on dude, take one for the team.

Friday, March 11, 2016


Monster #: 39,493

What Is It: A mysterious and ethereal monster.

What Does It Want: We don't know. Whatever she wants with that bug, it can't be good.

Maybe She'll Give It A Bath: Maybe she'll eat it.

You Always Go Dark: What can I say, I'm twisted person. Let me put on my Nickelback album just to show you how twisted I am.

Monday, March 7, 2016


Monster #: 10,634

What Is It: A badass and edgy monster.

What Does He Want: He wants to NOT play by your rules, man.

He Doesn't Like My Rules: No way man, he thinks your rules are totally uncool.

(Sniff)... I Try My Best: Your best ain't good enough, old man!

Friday, March 4, 2016

Daya Zik

Monster #: 20,563

What Is It: A badass alien outlaw.

What Does It Want: She wants to commit crimes and get away with it!

Oh Wow, That's Messed Up: I know!

Does She Realize It's Wrong to Commit Crimes: She does, but she does it anyway!

Oh My God: I know!