Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Monster #: 3,030
What Is It: A very wise, very smug monster.
What Does It Want: To be right about everything.
How Is It Right About Everything: It's third eye can see all.
I Don't Like the Sound of That: No, you don't like the SIGHT of that.
Monday, October 28, 2013
Monster #: 67,205
What Is It: A very befuddled monster.
Why Is It So Befuddled: Life man. It's crazy, you know.
What About Life Is So Crazy: You know... the daily grind... stuff like that.
You Don't Know, Do You: Well, neither do you!
Friday, October 25, 2013
Monster #: 5,205
What Is It: A very mean fish.
What Does It Want: To bully other, smaller fish.
Wait, Does This Fish Have Legs: Yes.
But, HOW: Swam into radioactive waste, what else?
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
Monster #: 78,376
What Is It: ...A beast from the Atlantic Ocean... What else?
What Does It Want: To wreck any ship that crosses its ocean.
Does That Mean: Yes, it wasn't an iceberg that hit the Titanic...
My God, James Cameron's Movie Was a Lie: James Cameron is a liar.
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
Monster #: 87,234
What Is It: A tiny, perpetually freaked out little monster.
What Does It Want: To not be so scared all the time.
Why Is It Always So Scared: Life is scary, man.
That's True, I'm a College Graduate: Same.
Monday, October 14, 2013
Monster #: 89,235
What Is It: The cruel king of the planet Kremularg.
What Does It Want: To be mean to all his subjects.
Why: 'cuz he's a jerk.
But WHY Is He Such a Jerk: Because he can be. It's like life, man.
Friday, October 11, 2013
Monster #: 456,274
What Is It: An angry, pissed off monster.
Why's It So Angry: Cuz it's left arm is kinda screwed up.
It's Not So Bad: Yeah, but he's really insecure.
That's Too Bad: Even monsters have self-image problems.
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
Monster #: 2,836
What Is It: A really, really big monster.
What Does It Want: To eat creatures smaller than it.
How Many Creatures Are Smaller than It: All of them.
Monday, October 7, 2013
Monster #: 9,735
What Is It: A red dragon that lives in the forest.
What Does It Want: To live alone in peace.
What's It Looking: Stuff that's going to disrupt his sanctuary.
What Kind of Stuff: Pretty much everything that's been invented in the last 1,000 years.
Friday, October 4, 2013
Monster #: 67,145
What Is It: A shapeless demon that possess whomever it sees fit.
What Does It Want: What else? To cause trouble.
Why: Gotta get your kicks somewhere, I guess?
How Can I Tell If Someone Is Possessed: If they have green eyes. Only demons have green eyes.
Oh No! My Best Friend Has Green Eyes: Oh no!
What Do I Do!!?: Beats us! We're just scientists! We don't actually know anything!
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
Monster #: 65,256
What Is It: A sad, pathetic little monster.
What Does It Want: To not be so sad and pathetic.
Why Is It Sad and Pathetic: It's head is so big it can barely lift it up. And it's mouth is mostly teeth.
Yikes: It's a dentist's dream.