Wednesday, October 30, 2013


Monster #: 3,030

What Is It: A very wise, very smug monster.

What Does It Want: To be right about everything.

How Is It Right About Everything: It's third eye can see all.

I Don't Like the Sound of That: No, you don't like the SIGHT of that.

Monday, October 28, 2013

The Boggler

Monster #: 67,205

What Is It: A very befuddled monster.

Why Is It So Befuddled: Life man. It's crazy, you know.

What About Life Is So Crazy: You know... the daily grind... stuff like that.

You Don't Know, Do You: Well, neither do you!

Friday, October 25, 2013


Monster #: 5,205

What Is It: A very mean fish.

What Does It Want: To bully other, smaller fish.

Wait, Does This Fish Have Legs: Yes.

But, HOW: Swam into radioactive waste, what else?

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

The Beast of the Atlantic

Monster #: 78,376

What Is It: ...A beast from the Atlantic Ocean... What else?

What Does It Want: To wreck any ship that crosses its ocean.

Does That Mean: Yes, it wasn't an iceberg that hit the Titanic...

My God, James Cameron's Movie Was a Lie: James Cameron is a liar.

Wednesday, October 16, 2013


Monster #: 87,234

What Is It: A tiny, perpetually freaked out little monster.

What Does It Want: To not be so scared all the time.

Why Is It Always So Scared: Life is scary, man.

That's True, I'm a College Graduate: Same.

Monday, October 14, 2013


Monster #: 89,235

What Is It: The cruel king of the planet Kremularg.

What Does It Want: To be mean to all his subjects.

Why: 'cuz he's a jerk.

But WHY Is He Such a Jerk: Because he can be. It's like life, man.

Whoah: Whoah.

Friday, October 11, 2013

The Mahyuk

Monster #: 456,274

What Is It: An angry, pissed off monster.

Why's It So Angry: Cuz it's left arm is kinda screwed up.

It's Not So Bad: Yeah, but he's really insecure.

That's Too Bad: Even monsters have self-image problems.

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

The Krumble

Monster #: 2,836

What Is It: A really, really big monster.

What Does It Want: To eat creatures smaller than it.

How Many Creatures Are Smaller than It: All of them.

Gulp: Yep.

Monday, October 7, 2013

The Red Dragon

Monster #: 9,735

What Is It: A red dragon that lives in the forest.

What Does It Want: To live alone in peace.

What's It Looking: Stuff that's going to disrupt his sanctuary.

What Kind of Stuff: Pretty much everything that's been invented in the last 1,000 years.

Friday, October 4, 2013

The Green-Eyed Demon

Monster #: 67,145

What Is It: A shapeless demon that possess whomever it sees fit.

What Does It Want: What else? To cause trouble.

Why: Gotta get your kicks somewhere, I guess?

How Can I Tell If Someone Is Possessed: If they have green eyes. Only demons have green eyes.

Oh No! My Best Friend Has Green Eyes: Oh no!

What Do I Do!!?: Beats us! We're just scientists! We don't actually know anything!

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

The Grund

Monster #: 65,256

What Is It: A sad, pathetic little monster.

What Does It Want: To not be so sad and pathetic.

Why Is It Sad and Pathetic: It's head is so big it can barely lift it up. And it's mouth is mostly teeth.

Yikes: It's a dentist's dream.