Monday, February 29, 2016


Monster #: 2,343

What Is It: A big, muscly monster.

What Does It Want: To work out and lift weights and stuff.

What About His Legs: Oh, he doesn't do any leg exercises. So they're not looking so good.

How Come Nobody Ever Focus On the Legs: 'Cause they all have huge egos.

Monday, February 15, 2016


Monster #: 2,004

What Is It: A cool, down to Earth monster.

What Does It Want: She wants to hang out, get good grades and attend a nice public university.

Do They Let Monsters Into Colleges: Not in America.

Where: Denmark, I think. They're pretty chill over there.

Friday, February 12, 2016


Monster #: 6,503

What Is It: Just a nasty, mean ol' monster.

What Does It Want: To rip everything else into shreds.

What About Shreds, Does It Rip Shreds Into Shreds: Shut up.

Wow, Rude: Don't do this shit, man.

Wednesday, February 10, 2016


Monster #: 82,589

What Is It: A childlike spirit.

What Does It Want: To cause mischief and mayhem.

Why: Because she thinks it's funny.

That's Rude: In fairness, it's funny if it doesn't happen to you.

Monday, February 8, 2016


Monster #: 100,098

What Is It: A monster that's stuck in a perpetual state of annoyance.

What Does It Want: He wants to finally find contentment.

Will He Ever: No.

He's Like Me Then: He's like all of us.

Friday, February 5, 2016


Monster #: 653,098

What Is It: Just your average single gal/monster.

What Does She Want: You ever see "Mary Tyler Moore?" Pretty much that.

She Wants to Make It After All: You bet.

She's An Inspiring Monster, Isn't She: You know it.

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

The Viv

Monster #: 3,923

What Is It: A weird, slightly demonic creature.

What Does It Want: She has a mean expression, so I'm guessing whatever it is, it isn't good for us.

What's The Third Eye For: Looking into your soul.

Mine Specifically, Or Everyone's: Everyone's. Sorry about the wording there, it got a little confusing.

Grammar Is Important: Yes, it is.

Monday, February 1, 2016


Monster #: 23,945

What Is It: Just kind of a normal dude.

What Does He Want: Normal dude things.

What Are "Normal Dude Things:" You know... things that are normal... for dudes.

You Don't Know Anything About This Guy, Do You: ...(sniff) This job is hard, man.