The Witch of Distant Valley

Monster #: 245,035

What Is It: A cruel witch who lives just beyond our world.

What Does She Want: To be left alone so she can terrorize the inhabitants of the Distant Valley.

Why: Well, it's either terrorize or be nice and terrorizing is probably more fun.

Her Morals Are Pretty Shaky Then: Super shaky.

The Hidden Face

Monster #: 6,540

What Is It: The hidden face we all hide from the world.

What Does It Want: To reveal itself.

Is It... Bad: Sometimes.

Can I Stop It: Not all the time.

Glemborr

Monster #: 9,154

What Is It: A very, very goofy monster.

Hey, Wait a Minute: What?

How Come All the Monsters This Week Are Green: I don't know.

You've Been Paid Off By the Green Party, Haven't No: What, no, we haven't... We swear!

My God, You're Jill Stein, Aren't You: No! I, uh! Fine, you found me out!

But Why, Jill Stein: Power. You control one blog, you control them all. 

No...: First, this blog, then the world...

Glump

Monster #: 6,429

What Is It: A generally angry and annoyed monster.

Why Is It So Angry: Some monsters are just born angry.

What's It Angry About: Oh you know, the usual stuff: life, people, the environment, the world, the universe.

Does Anything NOT Make Him Angry: Inexplicably he's rather fond of playing bocce ball. We don't know why.

Untitled Giant Robot Cartoon #552 - Part 6

The End of Untitled Giant Robot Cartoon #552

Untitled Giant Robot Cartoon #552 - Part 5

The apocalypse looms and Johnson doesn't know what to do.

The Green Lizard

Monster #: 678

What Is It: A four-foot green lizard.

What Does It Want: To try and survive this crazy world.

Where Is It: Unknown at this time. Looks kinda trendy though.

What's It Looking At: I don't know. Maybe that's where it came from...

Kreyarn

Monster #: 312

What Is It: Some sort of apparition that lives between our world and the next.

What Does It Want: Who knows.

How Can I Avoid It: Beats me.

You're No Help!: Stop yelling at me!

Trello

Monster #: 612

What Is It: A very shy monster that likes to hide himself.

Why Does He Like To Hide: The world's a scary place.

Is It Possible To Find Him: No, he's very clever.

But I Can See Him In the Above Photo: Oh, uh, you're right, I guess...