Friday, November 22, 2013
Monster #: 836,253
What Is It: A very vicious, very mean monster.
What Does It Want: To attack innocent creatures.
Why: He enjoys being on top of the food chain.
I Thought People Were On Top of the Food Chain: Thought wrong, buddy.
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Monster #: 1,920
What Is It: The general of an army of skeleton warriors.
What Does It Want: To ravage and pillage the land as much as possible.
Why: 'Cuz its master wants it to do that. Come on.
What Is It A Skeleton Of: That's a whole 'nother monster, my friend.
Monday, November 18, 2013
Monster #: 8,346
What Is It: Some sort of bio-mechanical monstrosity.
What Does It Want: To constantly proclaim his brilliance.
Is He Brilliant: Ha ha, no.
Really: Yeah, he's an idiot who thinks he's a genius.
So He's Incredibly Dangerous: Oh yes.
Friday, November 15, 2013
Monster #: 914,004
What Is It: A very content dinosaur.
What Does It Want: To live a life free of troubles.
Wait, Is Thing Still Alive: Yes.
It Survived The Meteor: Yes.
Where The Hell Is It: It lives in Staten Island. People just haven't noticed it yet.
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
Monster #: 2,045
What Is It: A smiling face.
Why Is It Smiling: Because it knows something you don't.
Is The Face... Evil: Probably.
Yeah, THAT'S Reassuring: Hey, don't shoot the messenger.
Monday, November 11, 2013
Monster #: 62,562
What Is It: Some sort of angry, bird-like thing.
Why Is It Angry: It's a monster. It'd be more surprising if it wasn't angry.
That's Too Bad: I know.
I Want Everything to Be Happy: A noble dream.
Friday, November 8, 2013
Monster #: 87,205
What Is It: A big, goofy bird.
What Does It Want: Who knows. To survive I imagine.
How Is It "Goofy": I don't know. He kinda moves around all goofy-like. You know, he just looks goofy.
So You Don't Know: You've got a real attitude, mister.
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
Monster #: 984,035
What Is It: Some sort of many-tentacled sea creature.
What Does It Want: To eat fish and other sea stuff I think.
So Its Mouth Is At the Top of Its Head: Yeah, looks like it.
Wow, That's Pretty Weird: That's what's thrown you off? After all the monsters you've seen? Jeez, pal.
Monday, November 4, 2013
Monster #: 9,239
What Is It: A very nasty, vicious monster.
What Does It Want: It wants whatever wants and doesn't care how it gets it.
What Is It Doing: It appears to be staring at something.
That's Not Good: Not for what it's staring at, that's for sure!
Friday, November 1, 2013
Monster #: 4,614
What Is It: A very sad, very droopy monster.
What Does It Want: He doesn't know. That's why he's so sad.
Maybe He Should Start Working Out: That's a good idea.
I Always Feel Better After I Start Working Out: Me too.
Let's Be Workout Buddies: I want to workout buddies with you.