Gyffandaa

Monster #: 39,493

What Is It: A mysterious and ethereal monster.

What Does It Want: We don't know. Whatever she wants with that bug, it can't be good.

Maybe She'll Give It A Bath: Maybe she'll eat it.

You Always Go Dark: What can I say, I'm twisted person. Let me put on my Nickelback album just to show you how twisted I am.

The Giant Octopus

Monster #: 98,349

What Is It: As the name would imply, it is a giant octopus.

What Does It Want: To eat people.

Hey, Wait A Minute, Octopi Don't Have Teeth: Well, this one does, what are you gonna do about, huh?

Well, Obviously, Then This Thing Can't Exist: Oh yeah. You see that photo, you think we Photoshopped this thing?

...Yes? I Mean, It's Not A Photo And It Obviously Used Photoshop Brushes: ...

You Still There: You get out of here right NOW!

The Two-Headed Dalrup

Monster #: 938,421

What Is It: A dalrup with two heads. Jeez, keep up.

What Does It Want: To roam free in the wild.

Where Is It: Stuck on a dalrup farm.

Do People Eat Dalrups: Oh, yes. You ever eat potato chips?

Yeah: You're eating dalrup.

Crocodile Tears

I'm on vacation for the next week, so there won't be any monsters. However, I will be offering some of my favorite comic strips I've created for Grey Unicorn.

I hope you enjoy them!

Read it here: http://www.greyunicorn.com/crocodile-tears/

The Ahkturrian Worm

Monster #: 630,492

What Is It: A worm from the planet Ahkturria.

What Does It Want: To eat just about everything it sees.

How Big Is It: About as big as your house.

I Live In A Mansion: Yeah, he's a big son of a gun.

Well, At Least I Don't Leave on Ahkturria: Ahkturria is what they rename Earth in 20 years.

DAMNIT: Agreed. Ahkturria is a bad name.

The Bledge

Monster #: 6,720

What Is It: Just a big, big monster.

What Does It Want: To eat sailors, ships, battleships, all that good stuff.

Why: Because they taste very good to him.

I Don't Think They Taste Very Good: Well, you're not a giant monster now are you?

... No: That's what I thought.

The Blooog

Monster #: 984,035

What Is It: Some sort of many-tentacled sea creature.

What Does It Want: To eat fish and other sea stuff I think.

So Its Mouth Is At the Top of Its Head: Yeah, looks like it.

Wow, That's Pretty Weird: That's what's thrown you off? After all the monsters you've seen? Jeez, pal.

The Krumble

Monster #: 2,836

What Is It: A really, really big monster.

What Does It Want: To eat creatures smaller than it.

How Many Creatures Are Smaller than It: All of them.

Gulp: Yep.

The Blue Gragnarr

Monster #: 98,456

What Is It: A very big, very hungry monster.

What Does It Want: To eat everything.

Everything: EVERYTHING.

What Happens When It Eats Everything: Then it stops. As does the world.

Drulmbd

Monster #: 455,679

What Is It: Some sort of amorphous, nasty looking creature.

What Does It Want: Well, it's got teeth. It probably wants to eat something.

Eat What, Like People: Yeah, probably people.

Why Do All These Monsters Want to Eat People: We're delicious I guess. It's kind of a compliment.

Kind Of: Yeah, kind of.

Mickey Rodent

Monster #: 1,928

What Is It: A beloved corporate mascot.

What Does It Want: To entertain children everywhere!

Why: Why not?

No, Seriously, Why: Because he feeds on the souls of happy children.

Oh That Makes Sense: Thought it would.

The Kool Kids

Monster #: 58,234

What Are They: The coolest kids around.

How Cool Are They: They spell "Cool" with a "K." "Kool."

Oh Wow: Yeah.

How Are They Monsters: They eat people.

Oh, Well, There You Go: Yeah.

Treb

Monster #: 67,034


What Is It: Some big old goofy monster.

What Does It Want: We don't know. It does have big teeth.

Very Big Teeth: I mean, why would you have big teeth if you weren't gonna eat something.

I Hope It Doesn't Eat Me: Yeah, me too. "I Hope It Doesn't Eat Me" is my life motto by the way.

Grudge

Monster #: 78,907

What Is It: A really weird-lookin' monster.

What Does It Want: Who knows. Who cares.

How Does It Eat: With it's mouth.

No, I Mean, How Can It Catch Food To Eat: What do you mean?

I Mean, It Has No Arms: Oh, maybe it eats bugs or something.

Shouldn't You Know, Aren't You the Classification People: You're asking a lotta questions, aren't ya smart-boy?

The Krep

Monster #: 98,718

What Is It: A really big monster with a really big mouth.

What Does It Want: To eat.

What Does It Eat: Whatever it wants.

Including.... People: Oh my yes.

Slyther

 

Monster #: 9, 456

What is It: A very large, very hungry snake.

What Does It Want: To hide. For now.

What Happens When It's Now: That's when it eats.

What Does It Eat: Whatever it wants.

Ayup

Monster #932

What Is It: A sweet little monster that also tastes delicious.

How Delicious: So delicious people try to catch Ayups all the time.

That's Terrible: Hey, don't judge until you've tried them.

What the Hell is Wrong With You: Ugh, stop shaming me.

Debonare

Monster #: 405

What Is It: A very sophisticated monster.

What Does It Do: Make droll observations and write essays for The New Yorker.

What Does It Want: To write The Great American Novel.

Really: Yep. And also eat people. He likes to eat people.