Blegh

Monster #: 2,980

What Is It: A very, very, very old monster.

What Does It Want: For you whippersnappers to keep it down!

Why Is He Nearly Naked: He just doesn't give a shit anymore.

I Wanna Be Like Him: Me too.

Krryllkryck

Monster #: 9,562

What Is It: An out of control monster.

What Does It Want: To be crazy and wild and stuff.

Who's the Woman: She's in charge of supervising Krryllkryck.

She Seems Bored: Being crazy and wild and stuff grows old after awhile.

Mr. Spider

Monster #: 8,065

What Is It: A big old, mean, nasty spider.

What Does It Want: To eat all the fly children!

Wait, Is This Image Torn Out of a Children's Book: Uh... no.

It Is, Isn't It: ....maybe.

The NightBeast

Monster #: 502

What is It: A mean, nasty creature that comes out at night.

What Does It Want: Not much. Just to hunt people.

Who's the Guy: A detective that's gotten in over his head.

Will He Survive: He's a tough old bird. He's got a shot.

KingJack

Monster #: 903

Who Is He: The ruler of a dystopian planet.

What Is He: A nasty alien that may or may not be older than the Big Bang.

What's He the Most Proud Of: That rockin' chin. That thing's huge.

Hey, Isn't This Guy Just a Ripoff of Darkseid: Shh!