Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Monster #: 96,043
What Is It: Some sort of winged-monster.
What Does It Want: We don't know. He looks kinda smug though.
What's He So Smug About: Well, he can fly. And you can't.
That's True: Yeah.
At Least I Have Arms: Yeah, you're right! He's not so great.
Monday, July 29, 2013
Monster #: 865,269
What Is It: A scaly, slimy monster that lives in the water.
What Does It Want: To seriously creep you out.
Why: Man, why do any of these monsters do anything?
Cause They're Jerks: Yeah, that's about right.
Friday, July 26, 2013
Monster #: 6,429
What Is It: A generally angry and annoyed monster.
Why Is It So Angry: Some monsters are just born angry.
What's It Angry About: Oh you know, the usual stuff: life, people, the environment, the world, the universe.
Does Anything NOT Make Him Angry: Inexplicably he's rather fond of playing bocce ball. We don't know why.
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
Monster #: 67,003
What Is It: A small little monster.
What Does It Want: It doesn't want to hurt anybody. But it does.
How? Why: The Ayng has a strange condition where it causes paranoia and neurosis in people it comes near.
Oh Wow: Yes, it's pretty bad.
Poor Guy: Yeah, he doesn't have a great life.
Monday, July 22, 2013
Monster #: 78,123
What Is It: A very cruel looking monster.
What's It Looking At: Who knows. I don't like how happy he is about it though.
What Does It Want: What any monster wants, to chill out and be cool.
I Want That Too: We ALL do.
Monday, July 15, 2013
Monster #: 86,844
What Is It: A monster that lurks in the dark.
What Does It Want: To scare people obviously. I mean duh.
Why: I dunno. That's his schtick. He's proud of it.
Why Is He In Black and White: It's very artistic this way.
Friday, July 12, 2013
Monster #: 60
What Is It: The Hunchback of Notre Dame.
You Mean, Like the Victor Hugo Novel: No, the University.
The Hunchback of the University of Notre Dame: Yes, the very same.
What... Huh... Uh... : Yeah, flunked out and now he hangs out with the bells.
This Is All Very Confusing: Look, it's a college thing, OK?
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Monster #: 2,593
What Is It: A very big, very angry monster.
What Does It Want: To do whatever the hell it wants.
I Don’t Like This Dude: He probably doesn’t like you either.
Where Is He: He lives on another planet.
Wouldn’t That Make Him An Alien: Alien monster.
Monday, July 8, 2013
Monster #: 67,200
What Is It: A monster man who's never said "No" to a steriod.
What Does It Want: He wants to be the buffest, swolest man on the planet.
Why: Because somebody's gotta be!
I Think He Might Have Insecurity Issues: Gee, really?
Friday, July 5, 2013
Monster #: 56,306
What Is It: A cute little monster.
What Does It Want: To get contacts so he can see better.
So He Has Trouble Seeing: Yes, it's very sad.
Why Doesn't He Wear Glasses: Dulam has glasses but he's very self-conscious about them.
There's Nothing To Be Ashamed About Wearing Glasses: I know, it's too bad he doesn't see it that way.
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
Monster #: 455,679
What Is It: Some sort of amorphous, nasty looking creature.
What Does It Want: Well, it's got teeth. It probably wants to eat something.
Eat What, Like People: Yeah, probably people.
Why Do All These Monsters Want to Eat People: We're delicious I guess. It's kind of a compliment.
Kind Of: Yeah, kind of.
Monday, July 1, 2013
Monster #: 984,006
What Is It: Some sort of amphibian creature.
What Does It Want: To be left alone.
Why: He's likes to be left alone.
That's Sad: It is.
I Want To Be His Friend: No you don't.
Why Not: He's a dick.