Wednesday, July 31, 2013


Monster #: 96,043

What Is It: Some sort of winged-monster.

What Does It Want: We don't know. He looks kinda smug though.

What's He So Smug About: Well, he can fly. And you can't.

That's True: Yeah.

At Least I Have Arms: Yeah, you're right! He's not so great.

Monday, July 29, 2013

The Greech

Monster #: 865,269

What Is It: A scaly, slimy monster that lives in the water.

What Does It Want: To seriously creep you out.

Why: Man, why do any of these monsters do anything?

Cause They're Jerks: Yeah, that's about right.

Friday, July 26, 2013


Monster #: 6,429

What Is It: A generally angry and annoyed monster.

Why Is It So Angry: Some monsters are just born angry.

What's It Angry About: Oh you know, the usual stuff: life, people, the environment, the world, the universe.

Does Anything NOT Make Him Angry: Inexplicably he's rather fond of playing bocce ball. We don't know why.

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

The Ayng

Monster #: 67,003

What Is It: A small little monster.

What Does It Want: It doesn't want to hurt anybody. But it does.

How? Why: The Ayng has a strange condition where it causes paranoia and neurosis in people it comes near.

Oh Wow: Yes, it's pretty bad.

Poor Guy: Yeah, he doesn't have a great life.

Monday, July 22, 2013


Monster #: 78,123

What Is It: A very cruel looking monster.

What's It Looking At: Who knows. I don't like how happy he is about it though.

What Does It Want: What any monster wants, to chill out and be cool.

I Want That Too: We ALL do.

Monday, July 15, 2013


Monster #: 86,844

What Is It: A monster that lurks in the dark.

What Does It Want: To scare people obviously. I mean duh.

Why: I dunno. That's his schtick. He's proud of it.

Why Is He In Black and White: It's very artistic this way.

Friday, July 12, 2013

The Hunchback of Notre Dame

Monster #: 60

What Is It: The Hunchback of Notre Dame.

You Mean, Like the Victor Hugo Novel: No, the University.

The Hunchback of the University of Notre Dame: Yes, the very same.

What... Huh... Uh... : Yeah, flunked out and now he hangs out with the bells.

This Is All Very Confusing: Look, it's a college thing, OK?

Wednesday, July 10, 2013


Monster #: 2,593

What Is It: A very big, very angry monster.

What Does It Want: To do whatever the hell it wants.

I Don’t Like This Dude: He probably doesn’t like you either.

Where Is He: He lives on another planet.

Wouldn’t That Make Him An Alien: Alien monster.

Oh: Yeah.

Monday, July 8, 2013

Billy Buff

Monster #: 67,200

What Is It: A monster man who's never said "No" to a steriod.

What Does It Want: He wants to be the buffest, swolest man on the planet.

Why: Because somebody's gotta be!

I Think He Might Have Insecurity Issues: Gee, really?

Friday, July 5, 2013


Monster #: 56,306

What Is It: A cute little monster.

What Does It Want: To get contacts so he can see better.

So He Has Trouble Seeing: Yes, it's very sad.

Why Doesn't He Wear Glasses: Dulam has glasses but he's very self-conscious about them.

There's Nothing To Be Ashamed About Wearing Glasses: I know, it's too bad he doesn't see it that way.

Wednesday, July 3, 2013


Monster #: 455,679

What Is It: Some sort of amorphous, nasty looking creature.

What Does It Want: Well, it's got teeth. It probably wants to eat something.

Eat What, Like People: Yeah, probably people.

Why Do All These Monsters Want to Eat People: We're delicious I guess. It's kind of a compliment.

Kind Of: Yeah, kind of.

Monday, July 1, 2013


Monster #: 984,006

What Is It: Some sort of amphibian creature.

What Does It Want: To be left alone.

Why: He's likes to be left alone.

That's Sad: It is.

I Want To Be His Friend: No you don't.

Why Not: He's a dick.