Orthur

Monster #: 2493

What Is It: A mysterious monster with a very large mouth.

What Does It Want: We don't know. He seems friendly... ish?

Its Smile Seems Insincere: Yeah, there's something about it that seems fake.

I Don't Think I'd Like To Meet It: Well too bad, cuz it's right outside your door!

AAAAHHHNo It's Not: Gotcha!

Hraag

Monster #: 589,238

What Is It: We're not really sure.

What Does It Want: We're not really sure.

Is It Good Or Bad: We're not really sure.

Why Are You So Bad At Your Job: We're not really suHEY!!!

Slippery Sam

Monster #: 45,230

What Is It: A very large sea snake.

What Does It Want: To live it's life peacefully in the ocean.

How Slippery Is He: Very slippery.

How Slippery is "Very Slippery": Extremely slippery.

Sad Robert

Monster #: 924,045

What Is It: A very sad monster.

What Does It Want: To find some form of happiness in the Big City.

What Makes Robert Happy: He doesn't know.

Well, That's A Problem: Yeah, no kidding!

The Krarn

Monster #: 56,320

What Is It: Such a cute little monster!

What Does It Want: To be fierce and scary!

Is It: Of course not! He's Adorable!

It's Hard Being Cute: Yes indeed!

The Dragon's Head

Monster #: 87,205

What Is It: A... dragon's head.

What Does It Want: To find it's body.

How Is It Still Alive: Dragon's can survive decapitation.

What, Really: Yes, really.

How... Annoying: You're telling me, pal!

Jaalmp

Monster #: 103,496

What Is It: A very energetic monster.

What Does It Want: To run around and goof off all day long.

Why: Cuz doin' important stuff is lame.

Damn, You Speak the Truth: You know I do.

The Dregnargg

Monster #: 9,239

What Is It: A very nasty, vicious monster.

What Does It Want: It wants whatever wants and doesn't care how it gets it.

What Is It Doing: It appears to be staring at something.

That's Not Good: Not for what it's staring at, that's for sure!

The Red Dragon

Monster #: 9,735

What Is It: A red dragon that lives in the forest.

What Does It Want: To live alone in peace.

What's It Looking: Stuff that's going to disrupt his sanctuary.

What Kind of Stuff: Pretty much everything that's been invented in the last 1,000 years.

The Rokden

Monster #: 300,397

What Is It: Who knows. He's weird lookin' though.

What Does He Want: To stare at me apparently. STOP LOOKING AT ME!

Is His Head a Skull: Probably! Trying to creep me out!

It's Not All About You, You Know: Shut up.

The Krumms

Monster #: 936,048

What Are They: Some sort of spirits that live just beyond your field of vision.

What Do They Want: Not known at this time.

They're Kinda Creepy Lookin': Yeah.

I Don't Like Creepy Things: Neither do we!

The Ayng

Monster #: 67,003

What Is It: A small little monster.

What Does It Want: It doesn't want to hurt anybody. But it does.

How? Why: The Ayng has a strange condition where it causes paranoia and neurosis in people it comes near.

Oh Wow: Yes, it's pretty bad.

Poor Guy: Yeah, he doesn't have a great life.

Rrarrgrronk

Monster #: 2,593

What Is It: A very big, very angry monster.

What Does It Want: To do whatever the hell it wants.

I Don’t Like This Dude: He probably doesn’t like you either.

Where Is He: He lives on another planet.

Wouldn’t That Make Him An Alien: Alien monster.

Oh: Yeah.

Lepp

Monster #: 76,342

What Is It: I don't know, some ticked off monster.

What Does It Want: Beats me. Being a jerk I guess.

Boy, You Haven't Done Any Research, Have You: Hey, I totally have!

Tell Me One Fact About This Guy: He thinks you're ugly! So there!

Bellup

Monster #: 76,112

What Is It: A chill, righteous monster.

What Does It Want: To cheer you on and make sure you "hang loose."

Why: People are too uptight, man. They gotta chill.

I Guess You're Right: I'm always right, damnit.

Your Evil Twin

Monster #: 3,892

What Is It: Your...evil twin. The name seems self evident.

What Does It Want: To do everything you do, only more evil.

Like What: OK, say you like posting cool stuff you created on Tumblr, right?

Yeah: Well, your evil twin would post stuff, but it would be stuff from other people, and your twin wouldn't credit other people for it.

Oh No!: See why it's your evil twin?

Chek

Monster #: 6,789

What Is It: An ancient bird monster of unknown origin.

What Does It Want: Who knows.

Where Can I Find It: Out in the depths of the Pacific Northwest.

So, Spokane: What, No! Somewhere not as nice.

JimJimp

Monster #: 5,454

What Is It: Unknown at this time. This profile shot is the only photo we have of it.

What Does It Want: Unknown at this time.

It Photographs Well: Yeah, we think this is his good side.

What Does His Bad Side Look Like: Don't get cute.

The All-Seeing Eye

Monster #: 1,232

What Is It: As the name would imply, it is an All-Seeing Eye.

What Can It See: Seriously? Everything. It's All-Seeing.

What Everything: Yes! Everything!

Even When I'm In the Bathroom: What!!? God, you're gross. Yes.

Cool Dude

Monster #: 552

What Is It: One cool monster.

What Does It Want: To be cool.

He Doesn't Look That Cool To Me: You kidding? He's wearing sunglasses!

Sunglasses Don't Automatically Make People Cool: Yes they do, it's a scientific fact. You're just not cool enough to understand it.

Yeah... You're Right: Of course I am.