Ogilvie and Staker

Monster #: 29,843

What Are They: A duo of monsters.

What Do They Want: Ogilvie (the orange one) wants to to be friends with Staker (the yellow one).

What Does Staker Want: Uh... something different than what Ogilvie wants, that's for sure.

Theses Guys Aren't the New Bert and Ernie, Are They: Oh no.

Rraarrrggg

Monster #: 6,783

What Is It: A gigantic, lava-filled monster.

What Does It Want: To get rid of its terrible heartburn.

What's Causing the Heartburn: Are you really asking this?

Oh, Right, the Lava: Glad you caught up. Dumbass.

The Ayng

Monster #: 67,003

What Is It: A small little monster.

What Does It Want: It doesn't want to hurt anybody. But it does.

How? Why: The Ayng has a strange condition where it causes paranoia and neurosis in people it comes near.

Oh Wow: Yes, it's pretty bad.

Poor Guy: Yeah, he doesn't have a great life.

Blobman

Monster #: 59

What Is It: A businessman monster.

What Does It Want: He just wants to make a deal.

What Kind of Deal: One that benefits him but not you.

How Can I Avoid Him: You can't, there's one in every corporate office.

The Doubts

Monster #: 5

What Are They: Little monsters that live in your head.

What Do They Want: They want you to lose confidence in all of your decisions.

Why: They feed on the tears of unfulfilled dreams.

How Can I Stop Them: You can't. You can only try to control them. Maybe one day they'll give up.

Grarrlorr

Monster #: 40

What Is It: A 50ft giant monster that likes to ravage cities.

Is It Godzilla: No, it's similar to but not Godzilla, especially for copyright purposes.

What Does It Want: I think it wants a hug but the other guys here make fun of me for saying that. I have feelings you know.

No, I Didn't Know That: Well, you'd know if you took time to listen.

Mordog

Monster #: 912

What Is It?: A really big, really ugly monster.

Ugly?: Yeah, so ugly other laugh monsters laugh at him.

That's Not Nice: It's not. It really hurts his feelings.

How Does He Handle That?: Killing the monsters that make fun of him. You know, the basics.