The Snake

Monster #: 1

What Is It: The snake from the Adam and Eve story. Duh.

What Does It Want: To corrupt mankind.

Wait, So Does This Mean The Bible is Literally True: Nah. Cavemen evolved into Adam and Eve.

Wait, How Does That Work: I don't know. Ask a real scientist.

Dopi

Monster #: 533

What Is It: A sentient iPod that just wants to be your friend.

Wow, Really: You bet! He's already got all your favorite songs loaded.

OMG: I know right!

Is There a Catch: Yup! It feeds on human blood!