Friday, September 30, 2011

Scrak


Monster #: 413

What Is It: A babysitting dragon out of his element.

What Does It Want: To not babysit anymore.

Why: Baby dragons like to bite. A lot.

But They're So Cute: Well yeah, from a distance anyway.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Octothug


Monster #: 67

What Is He: A nasty sailor-octopus-ruffian

What Does He Do: Hang around the docks, ruff up the tourists

Why's He So Mean: His parents didn't raise him right

That Doesn't Mean He Should Take It Out On Others: I know, it doesn't

Monday, September 26, 2011

Hellcat


Monster #: 806

What Is It: One baaaad kitty

Where's It From: Well, I think the name would give you a hint

Likes: Mice, sucking out babies' breath

Dislikes: Dogs, spray bottles

Friday, September 23, 2011

Monster Mirror


Monster #: 739

What Is It: A strange mirror full of tiny little monsters

Can They Escape: No. Well, probably not.

Are They Mean: They're more interested in making mischief.

I Don't Like The Sound of That: Yeah, it's not great.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Unknown #2

Monster #: 953

What Is It: A cohort of Unknown #1

What Does It Want: To scare people, maybe?

Why Is It Wearing a Gangster Outfit: I dunno, I think the weird green glow is a more pressing concern.

Am I Safe: Not Known at This Time

Monday, September 19, 2011

Unknown #1

Monster #: 952

What Is It: Not Known at This Time

What Does It Want: Not Known at This Time

Were Does It Hide: Just on the edge of your peripheral vision

I Wish You Hadn't Told Me About This Thing: Yeah, me too

Friday, September 16, 2011

KingJack

Monster #: 903

Who Is He: The ruler of a dystopian planet.

What Is He: A nasty alien that may or may not be older than the Big Bang.

What's He the Most Proud Of: That rockin' chin. That thing's huge.

Hey, Isn't This Guy Just a Ripoff of Darkseid: Shh!

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

The Zoglodians

Monster #: 813

What Are They: Tiny little creatures that live just beyond our own conception of reality

What Do They Do: Aimlessly move around as a part one giant teeming mass

Are They Dangerous: No. Well, not now anyway

What Do You Mean "Not Now?" Uh, hey look, another monster...

Monday, September 12, 2011

Skiktrik

Monster #: 450

What Is It: Some sort of weird, bio-mechanical creature.

What Does It Do: Scuttle around hacking into your computer.

What Does It Want: It feeds on the Internet.

Excuse Me: The Internet is delicious apparently.

Friday, September 9, 2011

Ostrick

Monster #: 713

Who Is He: An ostrich with delusions of grandeur

How Can an Ostrich Wear a Suit: I don't know, why are you asking me?

Likes: Bowler hats, putting his head in a hole in the ground

Dislikes: Unsophisticated riff raff, holes that are too small

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Grimsby

Monster #: 349

Who Is He: A Very Upper Class Monster

Taste In Suits: Only the Finest May Touch His Scales

Is That Bowler He's Wearing: Oh, Most Certainly Yes!

Is He Completely Unbearable To Be Around: Absolutely

Monday, September 5, 2011

Sophistiator

Monster # 566

Who Is He: An elegant and refined monster

Really?: Yeah, he has a pipe and monocle.

Likes: Costume Balls, drinking tea, eating people

Dislikes: Rudeness, anti-intellectualism, people