Guff

Monster #: 2,343

What Is It: A big, muscly monster.

What Does It Want: To work out and lift weights and stuff.

What About His Legs: Oh, he doesn't do any leg exercises. So they're not looking so good.

How Come Nobody Ever Focus On the Legs: 'Cause they all have huge egos.

The Grundler

Monster #: 124,554

What Is It: A monster who delights in others' failures.

What Does It Want: To see everyone embarrass themselves.

Why: Because it has poor self-esteem.

That's Not Right: No it's not.

Boyoyoyn

Monster #: 8,305,934

What Is It: Just a cheerful, good-natured monster.

What Does It Want: He has no wants.

Why: Because he's happy just being who is.

God I Hate Him: Me too!

Sad Robert

Monster #: 924,045

What Is It: A very sad monster.

What Does It Want: To find some form of happiness in the Big City.

What Makes Robert Happy: He doesn't know.

Well, That's A Problem: Yeah, no kidding!

The Blue Gragnarr

Monster #: 98,456

What Is It: A very big, very hungry monster.

What Does It Want: To eat everything.

Everything: EVERYTHING.

What Happens When It Eats Everything: Then it stops. As does the world.

Krarn

Monster #: 96,043

What Is It: Some sort of winged-monster.

What Does It Want: We don't know. He looks kinda smug though.

What's He So Smug About: Well, he can fly. And you can't.

That's True: Yeah.

At Least I Have Arms: Yeah, you're right! He's not so great.

Lepp

Monster #: 76,342

What Is It: I don't know, some ticked off monster.

What Does It Want: Beats me. Being a jerk I guess.

Boy, You Haven't Done Any Research, Have You: Hey, I totally have!

Tell Me One Fact About This Guy: He thinks you're ugly! So there!

Grudge

Monster #: 78,907

What Is It: A really weird-lookin' monster.

What Does It Want: Who knows. Who cares.

How Does It Eat: With it's mouth.

No, I Mean, How Can It Catch Food To Eat: What do you mean?

I Mean, It Has No Arms: Oh, maybe it eats bugs or something.

Shouldn't You Know, Aren't You the Classification People: You're asking a lotta questions, aren't ya smart-boy?

Oy-yoy

Monster #: 891,006

What Is It: Some sort of frog-thing?

What Does It Want: To think.

Why Does It Want to Think: Thinking's cool, bro.

Yeah, I Think You're Right: Oh man!

You See What I Did There: Yeah man, that's awesome!

The Blue Glump

Monster #: 89,067

What Is It: A very gloomy monster.

What Does It Want: To not be so gloomy.

Why Is It So Gloomy: He doesn't know.

Boy, That's Too Bad: Yeah, tell him about it. No wait, don't.

Telf

Monster #: 6,734

What Is It: A sad ghost.

What Does It Want: He just wants to jump rope.

Why Can't He: Ghosts can't pick things up, duh.

Oh My, That Is Sad: Ghosts are just super sad all the time.

Grek

Monster #: 45, 832

What Is It: A really tall monster who lives in the ocean.

What Does It Want: To not live in the ocean.

Why Can't It Leave: Oh it can leave at any time.

Then Why Is It Still In The Ocean: He's really lazy.

So Laziness Trumps Happiness: Yeah.

Bello

Monster #: 7,987

What Is It: A nice, good-natured monster.

What Does He Want: Just to be a good dude.

Oh, That's Cool: It is cool.

I'm Still Afraid of Him: Right.

'Cuz He's a Monster: Yes.

Aylyn

Monster #: 341

What Is It: A cute little monster who's always frightened.

What's It Frightened Of: Everything.

That's Too Bad: Yeah, it makes for a difficult life.

Can I Pet Him: No, he's scared of you too. Sorry!

The Billyjohn

Monster #: 714

What Is It: A cheerful little creature that sits on your shoulder.

What Does It Want: To provide fresh, optimistic new perspective on your troubles.

Sounds Annoying: Oh yes, indeed it is.

How Can I Avoid It: Always make the right decision.

...So I Can't Avoid It Then: No.

Hedreg

Monster #: 400

What Is It: A big, blue monster that lives in Egypt.

What Does It Want: To figure out how those crazy pyramids work.

Yeah, There's Something Off About Them: Perspective's kinda wonky.

Are These the Ones Aliens Made: Oh my God, I think you're on to something.

The Rectangles

Monster #: 343

What Are They: Weird, rectangle-shaped monsters ruled by a single emotion.

What Do They Want: To do things bases on their emotional status (i.e. the happy one wants to be happy, the sad one wants to be sad, the angry one wants to be angry).

Where Are They: Somewhere beyond our realm of comprehension.

That Doesn't Sound Comforting: Most of the stuff on this blog doesn't.

Krokdar

Monster #: 353

What Is It: A 30-foot monster that roams the streets at night.

Yawn: Huh? Why are you yawning?

I Just Feel Like I've Soon Too Many Giant Monsters: Well, it's not our fault there are lots of giant monsters!

I Know, I Just Want More Variety: There's been plenty of variety!

Dude, Don't Be Angry: I'm not angry, you loser.

I'm Not a Loser, You're A Loser: No, you are!

You Are: You are!