Gummpmmf

Monster #: 23,065

What Is It: A big, friendly monster.

What Does It Want: To give you a hug.

Uh, How Strong Is He: Unbelievably strong.

Could A Hug From Him Kill Me: Yes.

Can I Say No To a Hug: Yes, but you'd make him feel sad.

Uh...: Come on dude, take one for the team.

Guff

Monster #: 2,343

What Is It: A big, muscly monster.

What Does It Want: To work out and lift weights and stuff.

What About His Legs: Oh, he doesn't do any leg exercises. So they're not looking so good.

How Come Nobody Ever Focus On the Legs: 'Cause they all have huge egos.

The Gozakk

Monster #: 5,983

What Is It: A gigantic inter-dimensional abomination.

What Does It Want: To rip through the very Space-Time Continuum.

Why: Everybody needs a hobby.

I Like Collecting Baseball Cards: That's not useful information, buddy.

Rraarrrggg

Monster #: 6,783

What Is It: A gigantic, lava-filled monster.

What Does It Want: To get rid of its terrible heartburn.

What's Causing the Heartburn: Are you really asking this?

Oh, Right, the Lava: Glad you caught up. Dumbass.

Kkraag

Monster #: 98,596

What Is It: A big, big monster.

What Does It Want: Not Known At This Time.

What's It Smiling About: I don't know. Nothing good I bet.

I Wish the Monsters Would Like Me: Me too.

The Giant Octopus

Monster #: 98,349

What Is It: As the name would imply, it is a giant octopus.

What Does It Want: To eat people.

Hey, Wait A Minute, Octopi Don't Have Teeth: Well, this one does, what are you gonna do about, huh?

Well, Obviously, Then This Thing Can't Exist: Oh yeah. You see that photo, you think we Photoshopped this thing?

...Yes? I Mean, It's Not A Photo And It Obviously Used Photoshop Brushes: ...

You Still There: You get out of here right NOW!

Orthur

Monster #: 2493

What Is It: A mysterious monster with a very large mouth.

What Does It Want: We don't know. He seems friendly... ish?

Its Smile Seems Insincere: Yeah, there's something about it that seems fake.

I Don't Think I'd Like To Meet It: Well too bad, cuz it's right outside your door!

AAAAHHHNo It's Not: Gotcha!

The Krountains

Monster #: 3,932

What Are They: Living mountains that reside on a distant planet.

Wait, Wait, Wait. LIVING MOUNTAINS: Yep. These mountains are really gigantic creatures with sentience and everything. Pretty cool.

What Do They Want: Same thing everything wants, to survive.

How Do They Survive: Well, let's just say you probably shouldn't try scaling these mountains.

Bombson

Monster #: 2,189,450

What Is It: A truly gigantic monster.

What Does It Want: Bombson just wants to make friends.

Really: Yeah, see that weird, bird-thing? He's trying to befriend it.

That's Nice: It is.

Is There Any Horrible Twist To Any of This: Nope. He's just a monster that wants friends.

Aww: Aww.

Nug

Monster #: 35,456

What Is It: A really, really, big monster.

How Big: So big this is all we can fit into a photo of him.

What Does He Want: Friends.

Does He Have Any: No. He always crushes them.

Sad: Yes.

Grogzilla

Monster #: 346,534,567

What Is It: Just a really, really big monster.

What Does It Want: To wreck cities 'n shit.

Why: Because it can, man.

Your Writing's Getting Really Informal: Yeah? Whaddya gonna do about it?

...Nothing: That's what I thought, ya' dummy.

The Ahkturrian Worm

Monster #: 630,492

What Is It: A worm from the planet Ahkturria.

What Does It Want: To eat just about everything it sees.

How Big Is It: About as big as your house.

I Live In A Mansion: Yeah, he's a big son of a gun.

Well, At Least I Don't Leave on Ahkturria: Ahkturria is what they rename Earth in 20 years.

DAMNIT: Agreed. Ahkturria is a bad name.

The Krumble

Monster #: 2,836

What Is It: A really, really big monster.

What Does It Want: To eat creatures smaller than it.

How Many Creatures Are Smaller than It: All of them.

Gulp: Yep.

The Blue Gragnarr

Monster #: 98,456

What Is It: A very big, very hungry monster.

What Does It Want: To eat everything.

Everything: EVERYTHING.

What Happens When It Eats Everything: Then it stops. As does the world.

Rrarrgrronk

Monster #: 2,593

What Is It: A very big, very angry monster.

What Does It Want: To do whatever the hell it wants.

I Don’t Like This Dude: He probably doesn’t like you either.

Where Is He: He lives on another planet.

Wouldn’t That Make Him An Alien: Alien monster.

Oh: Yeah.

Billy Buff

Monster #: 67,200

What Is It: A monster man who's never said "No" to a steriod.

What Does It Want: He wants to be the buffest, swolest man on the planet.

Why: Because somebody's gotta be!

I Think He Might Have Insecurity Issues: Gee, really?

Grud

Monster #: 8,593

What Is It: A big, goofy-looking monster.

What Does It Want: To go on vacation in Hawaii.

Well, It Looks Like He Made It: Yep.

Is He Happy, I Can't Really Tell: We have no idea.

I Want Him To Be Happy: Me too.

Treb

Monster #: 67,034


What Is It: Some big old goofy monster.

What Does It Want: We don't know. It does have big teeth.

Very Big Teeth: I mean, why would you have big teeth if you weren't gonna eat something.

I Hope It Doesn't Eat Me: Yeah, me too. "I Hope It Doesn't Eat Me" is my life motto by the way.

Grudge

Monster #: 78,907

What Is It: A really weird-lookin' monster.

What Does It Want: Who knows. Who cares.

How Does It Eat: With it's mouth.

No, I Mean, How Can It Catch Food To Eat: What do you mean?

I Mean, It Has No Arms: Oh, maybe it eats bugs or something.

Shouldn't You Know, Aren't You the Classification People: You're asking a lotta questions, aren't ya smart-boy?

The Krep

Monster #: 98,718

What Is It: A really big monster with a really big mouth.

What Does It Want: To eat.

What Does It Eat: Whatever it wants.

Including.... People: Oh my yes.