Rraarrrggg

Monster #: 6,783

What Is It: A gigantic, lava-filled monster.

What Does It Want: To get rid of its terrible heartburn.

What's Causing the Heartburn: Are you really asking this?

Oh, Right, the Lava: Glad you caught up. Dumbass.

The Flying Man

Monster #: 6,584

What Is It: A man who can fly.

What Does He Want: To... fly. Duh.

Wait, How Can A Man Be A Monster: Can you fly?

No: Can Mothra fly?

Yes: So he's a monster.

I'm Confused: It's because you're dumb.

Graubaum

Monster #: 3,682

What Is It: Some sort of smiling monster.

What Does It Want: Hell if I know. We don't know everything about these things damnit!

Jeez, Sorry: Yeah, well, I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have snapped.

This One Little Monster Has Caused Us To Get Mad At Each Other: It truly is the most evil monster there is.

Grek

Monster #: 45, 832

What Is It: A really tall monster who lives in the ocean.

What Does It Want: To not live in the ocean.

Why Can't It Leave: Oh it can leave at any time.

Then Why Is It Still In The Ocean: He's really lazy.

So Laziness Trumps Happiness: Yeah.

Dembo

Monster #973

What Is It: A none-too-bright gangster monster.

Gangster Monster?: Yeah, he's part of the monster mafia.

There's a Monster Mafia?: Of course there's a monster mafia. Why wouldn't there be?

He Looks Like Somebody That's Gonna Get Whacked Soon: Oh yeah.