Ouish

Monster #: 9,598

What Is It: A King of the Sea.

What Does It Want: To rule its corner of the ocean the best way it knows how.

Where's Its Crown: Underwater his crown would just float away.

See, I Didn't Think Of That: You should always think before you say something.

Glemborr

Monster #: 9,154

What Is It: A very, very goofy monster.

Hey, Wait a Minute: What?

How Come All the Monsters This Week Are Green: I don't know.

You've Been Paid Off By the Green Party, Haven't No: What, no, we haven't... We swear!

My God, You're Jill Stein, Aren't You: No! I, uh! Fine, you found me out!

But Why, Jill Stein: Power. You control one blog, you control them all. 

No...: First, this blog, then the world...

The Flump

Monster #: 87,993

What Is It: A happy-go-lucky monster.

What Does It Want: To say "hi" to everyone he meets.

Why: 'Cuz he believes in being a good, kind person.

He's Not Gonna Last Long: Ha ha no.

Jaalmp

Monster #: 103,496

What Is It: A very energetic monster.

What Does It Want: To run around and goof off all day long.

Why: Cuz doin' important stuff is lame.

Damn, You Speak the Truth: You know I do.

The Moony Bird

Monster #: 87,205

What Is It: A big, goofy bird.

What Does It Want: Who knows. To survive I imagine.

How Is It "Goofy": I don't know. He kinda moves around all goofy-like. You know, he just looks goofy.

So You Don't Know: You've got a real attitude, mister.

The Blooog

Monster #: 984,035

What Is It: Some sort of many-tentacled sea creature.

What Does It Want: To eat fish and other sea stuff I think.

So Its Mouth Is At the Top of Its Head: Yeah, looks like it.

Wow, That's Pretty Weird: That's what's thrown you off? After all the monsters you've seen? Jeez, pal.

The Boggler

Monster #: 67,205

What Is It: A very befuddled monster.

Why Is It So Befuddled: Life man. It's crazy, you know.

What About Life Is So Crazy: You know... the daily grind... stuff like that.

You Don't Know, Do You: Well, neither do you!

Graubaum

Monster #: 3,682

What Is It: Some sort of smiling monster.

What Does It Want: Hell if I know. We don't know everything about these things damnit!

Jeez, Sorry: Yeah, well, I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have snapped.

This One Little Monster Has Caused Us To Get Mad At Each Other: It truly is the most evil monster there is.

The Goofinians

Monster #: 499,236

What Are They: Goofy little monsters.

What's Their Deals: The orange one is stupid, the red one is energetic and the blue one is sad.

Are They Friends: The best of friends!

Do They Ever Get Anything Accomplished: Nope!

Grud

Monster #: 8,593

What Is It: A big, goofy-looking monster.

What Does It Want: To go on vacation in Hawaii.

Well, It Looks Like He Made It: Yep.

Is He Happy, I Can't Really Tell: We have no idea.

I Want Him To Be Happy: Me too.

Treb

Monster #: 67,034


What Is It: Some big old goofy monster.

What Does It Want: We don't know. It does have big teeth.

Very Big Teeth: I mean, why would you have big teeth if you weren't gonna eat something.

I Hope It Doesn't Eat Me: Yeah, me too. "I Hope It Doesn't Eat Me" is my life motto by the way.

The Eyap

Monster #: 761

What Is It: A goofy little critter that wants you to take its survey.

Why: The Eyap's make all of their decisions based on surveys.

What, Really: Yes, really.

That's Amazingly Inefficient: Make sure to mark that on their next survey.

The Moon

Monster #: 4

What Is It: It's the Moon!

What, Really: Yep, the Moon is alive!

Huh: Yeah, haven't you ever heard of the "Faces of the Moon?"

I Thought It Was Phases: No, that's stupid.

Well, What Does It Want: We don't know. Make goofy faces at us maybe?

God I'm So Confused: Well, that's your problem.

Eldrok the Elder

Monster #: 972

What Is It: A high-ranking chief from a monster royal society.

Why's He So Nervous: He's not very good at his job.

Why: He doesn't like to make decisions.

Boy Did He Pick a Poor Line of Work: Eh, whatcha gonna do?

Dembo

Monster #973

What Is It: A none-too-bright gangster monster.

Gangster Monster?: Yeah, he's part of the monster mafia.

There's a Monster Mafia?: Of course there's a monster mafia. Why wouldn't there be?

He Looks Like Somebody That's Gonna Get Whacked Soon: Oh yeah.

The Zoglodians

Monster #: 813

What Are They: Tiny little creatures that live just beyond our own conception of reality

What Do They Do: Aimlessly move around as a part one giant teeming mass

Are They Dangerous: No. Well, not now anyway

What Do You Mean "Not Now?" Uh, hey look, another monster...