Gregor

Monster #: 2,375

What Is It: A friendly alien.

What Does It Want: To say "hi" I guess.

Are All Aliens As Nice As Him: No.

Fuck: I feel the same.

Daya Zik

Monster #: 20,563

What Is It: A badass alien outlaw.

What Does It Want: She wants to commit crimes and get away with it!

Oh Wow, That's Messed Up: I know!

Does She Realize It's Wrong to Commit Crimes: She does, but she does it anyway!

Oh My God: I know!

The Krountains

Monster #: 3,932

What Are They: Living mountains that reside on a distant planet.

Wait, Wait, Wait. LIVING MOUNTAINS: Yep. These mountains are really gigantic creatures with sentience and everything. Pretty cool.

What Do They Want: Same thing everything wants, to survive.

How Do They Survive: Well, let's just say you probably shouldn't try scaling these mountains.

Rrokjaaw

Monster #: 93,466

What Is It: An all-powerful alien king from a distant planet.

What Does It: He wants to seduce some human females.

So He's A Ladies Man: Oh my no, he's super awkward and gross.

Ha Ha: It is funny. Super important on his planet and can't even score a date here.

The Unknown Alien

Monster #: 2,494

What Is It: An unknown alien.

What Does It Want: That's unknown at this time.

Well, What DO We Know About This Alien: Nothing. Except that it's an alien.

God, You're Useless: Yeah, well, you're useless too, buddy!

Krong

Monster #: 89,235

What Is It: The cruel king of the planet Kremularg.

What Does It Want: To be mean to all his subjects.

Why: 'cuz he's a jerk.

But WHY Is He Such a Jerk: Because he can be. It's like life, man.

Whoah: Whoah.

The Mordred

Monster #: 900,003

What Is It: A monster disguised as an alien landscape.

What Does It Want: To trap passing spaceships.

What, They Don't Notice The Tunnel Looks Like a Mouth: Look, you've seen "The Empire Strikes Back," right.

Yeah: Same deal.

Oh: Mmhmm.

Isn't That a Movie: Movies can be true too you know!

Rrarrgrronk

Monster #: 2,593

What Is It: A very big, very angry monster.

What Does It Want: To do whatever the hell it wants.

I Don’t Like This Dude: He probably doesn’t like you either.

Where Is He: He lives on another planet.

Wouldn’t That Make Him An Alien: Alien monster.

Oh: Yeah.

Krakdarr

Monster #: 459

What Is It: Some creepy, giant beast from a distant planet.

What Does It Want: Who knows? I certainly don't want to know!

How Can I Avoid: Stay away from the planet Krakdaan.

Oh, So We're Good: Nah, Krakdaan's on a collision course with Earth within the next five years. So get used to it!

The Slinger

Monster #: 467

What Is It: Some kind of outlaw-type that lives on a distant planet.

What Does It Want: To be left alone so it can do its thing.

What Is Its "Thing": Robbery, murder, arson, etc.

But It Shouldn't Be Left Alone To Do Those Things: Well, you and it are just going to have to agree to disagree.

The Treltzs

Monster # 883

What Are They: Creepy, weird creatures of unknown origin.

What Do They Want: We don't know. We don't want to know.

Are They Related to Those "Gray" Aliens: Maybe. Go ask Whitley Streiber.

Why Don't You Ask Him: Look, I'm busy, OK?

Monster #52

Name: The Kreks

What Are They: A species of intelligent aliens from beyond our galaxy

Skills: Able to construct and fly advanced spaceships

Problems: Cannot read maps

What To Do If You See Them: Come on. lend them a hand