Woolson

Monster #: 309,580

What Is It: A really hairy monster. Like, really, really hair.

How Hairy: Hairier than yo momma.

Hey Many, Leave My Mother Out of This, It's Going to Hurt Her Feelings: Oh gee, I'm sorry, I didn't realize.

Words Can Be Hurtful: You're right, I'm so sorry.

The Gunmp

Monster #: 8,577

What Is It: Uh... some sort of ugly monster?

Why Is That Other Monster Pointing At It: Maybe... it's making fun of how ugly the monster is?

The Other Monster Is Pretty Ugly Too: Yeah. But not as ugly as the Gunmp.

No, Not That Ugly: Yeah.

But Still Pretty Ugly: Yeah.

Grarrlorr

Monster #: 40

What Is It: A 50ft giant monster that likes to ravage cities.

Is It Godzilla: No, it's similar to but not Godzilla, especially for copyright purposes.

What Does It Want: I think it wants a hug but the other guys here make fun of me for saying that. I have feelings you know.

No, I Didn't Know That: Well, you'd know if you took time to listen.

Mordog

Monster #: 912

What Is It?: A really big, really ugly monster.

Ugly?: Yeah, so ugly other laugh monsters laugh at him.

That's Not Nice: It's not. It really hurts his feelings.

How Does He Handle That?: Killing the monsters that make fun of him. You know, the basics.