Slitch

Monster #: 5,094

What Is It: A demon straight from the depths of Hell.

What Does It Want: To cause torment and stuff like that.

Wait, So Hell Is Real: Did I say Hell, I meant Heck.

What's the Difference: One you can say on children's television.

Oh: Yep.

Mickey Rodent

Monster #: 1,928

What Is It: A beloved corporate mascot.

What Does It Want: To entertain children everywhere!

Why: Why not?

No, Seriously, Why: Because he feeds on the souls of happy children.

Oh That Makes Sense: Thought it would.

Mr. Spider

Monster #: 8,065

What Is It: A big old, mean, nasty spider.

What Does It Want: To eat all the fly children!

Wait, Is This Image Torn Out of a Children's Book: Uh... no.

It Is, Isn't It: ....maybe.