The Green-Eyed Demon

Monster #: 67,145

What Is It: A shapeless demon that possess whomever it sees fit.

What Does It Want: What else? To cause trouble.

Why: Gotta get your kicks somewhere, I guess?

How Can I Tell If Someone Is Possessed: If they have green eyes. Only demons have green eyes.

Oh No! My Best Friend Has Green Eyes: Oh no!

What Do I Do!!?: Beats us! We're just scientists! We don't actually know anything!

Primmirp

Monster #: 987,673

What Is It: Some sort of primate-type monster.

Primate: Yeah, it's kinda monkey-like, isn't it?

What Does It Want: Probably a banana.

I'm Pretty Sure That's Just a Stereotype: Whatever you say, Mr. Scientist.

I'm a Woman: Fine, Ms. Scientist. Are you happy now?

What the Hell is Wrong With You: I'm so lonely.

The Snake

Monster #: 1

What Is It: The snake from the Adam and Eve story. Duh.

What Does It Want: To corrupt mankind.

Wait, So Does This Mean The Bible is Literally True: Nah. Cavemen evolved into Adam and Eve.

Wait, How Does That Work: I don't know. Ask a real scientist.