The Snake

Monster #: 1

What Is It: The snake from the Adam and Eve story. Duh.

What Does It Want: To corrupt mankind.

Wait, So Does This Mean The Bible is Literally True: Nah. Cavemen evolved into Adam and Eve.

Wait, How Does That Work: I don't know. Ask a real scientist.

KingJack

Monster #: 903

Who Is He: The ruler of a dystopian planet.

What Is He: A nasty alien that may or may not be older than the Big Bang.

What's He the Most Proud Of: That rockin' chin. That thing's huge.

Hey, Isn't This Guy Just a Ripoff of Darkseid: Shh!